smiling on foot

Now that Halloween is over… it’s pretty much all downhill from here. I don’t mean to be a negative Nancy, but I just love, love LOVE Halloween and then I hate, hate HATE cold weather and snow. I can’t help but feel a little down trodden once Halloween is over. The cold is creeping in and I’ve already started using my electric blanket. Cold weather tends to make me quite inactive and I’m really wanting to maintain my 25 lb. weight loss from earlier this year. But it’s actually proving quite difficult already.

First of all, I’m dating someone and that comes with nights out to eat and drinking during a new relationship. Secondly, Halloween candy and treats are EVERYWHERE at work. So I’ve gained back about 8 lbs. during September and October. But on the relationship front, I think we’ve now moved into another phase where we can spend a Saturday night cooking and watching a movie “on demand” instead of drinking beers and eating chicken fingers at the Ming. He’s a FANTASTIC cook and is not the mac & cheese kind of guy at all. We eat steak and veggies or stir fry or homemade pizza… mostly healthy stuff. So that should help. However, I find myself trading in my gym-nights to spend time watching TV and drinking wine with him. I need to get better with my 3 x’s a week gym schedule. I’m seriously losing my stamina to stay on that machine for any good length of time. I went on Monday after not going for 2 weeks and it was a poor, poor showing. I’m going back tonight and showing that Precor AMT 100i what I’m made of.

The winter also brings about a lot of family parties and that brings us back to eating. Mum, my two brothers, my sister and myself all have post-Halloween birthdays. My brother, CS, and his wife, LS, have birthdays around Veteran’s Day. There is usually a dinner and birthday cake made by Mum. I haven’t heard if it’s happening this year, but it probably will. And I will undoubtedly pig out on Mum’s cake and eat at least 3 tablespoons of frosting before she even gets a chance to use it. Side note: I’m disgusting when it comes to sugar… and it’s getting worse with age. The candy corn consumption this year was shocking even to myself. I could eat a whole bowl of Mum’s frosting, no problem… especially if it was lemon… mmm lemon frosting…
Estimated weight gain after CS and LS’s birthday: 4 lbs.

Then there is Thanksgiving which is a good excuse for Americans everywhere to partake in some good ol’ fashioned gluttony. Mum makes everything so, so, so good for Thanksgiving. Her apple pie is almost an art form that shouldn’t be eaten… almost…mmmm apple pie… Then there is her famous cheesecake. And the stuffing and the mashed potatoes… and did I mention the apple pie? Then I’m taking some time off work to perhaps go on a road trip with NF and friends. Road trip = fast food and many, many swedish fish for the drive.
Estimated weight gain after Thanksgiving Weekend: 6 lbs.

December brings forth many holiday parties, Mum’s birthday party, Christmas and then New Year’s. Mum makes the most delicious oriental meatballs that are best to consume immediately before cheesecake. I know it sounds strange, but I’ve been eating this combo for so long that I’m conditioned to want cheesecake (but only HER cheesecake) after eating those meatballs. I should mention that she puts delicious, syrupy, canned cherries on top of the cheesecake… mmm cheesecake… I can see my gym visits fading away by mid-December. My sister-in-law, LS, makes a great spread for Christmas Day and usually has these scrumptious little pastries from a friend’s bakery. I so look forward to those pastries. She also has many dishes of Italian food of which I make sure to eat one of each kind: manicotti, lasagna, meatballs, etc. Then on New Year’s, the friends will all gather at HEKD’s and order massive amounts of Chinese Food. Yup, I should be one, blubbery, fat, piece of S by then.
Estimated weight gain in December: 8 lbs.

Then in January, I will celebrate my birthday and my brother, AS’s, birthday. When I celebrate my birthday, I usually do so for at least a week beforehand and indulge in multiple celebrations with family and then friends. I’ll also convince myself that whatever Superbowl party I attend is actually a birthday celebration for me too. And I will go after a plate of nachos like they were made for only me and absolutely necessary to my existence on this planet. After my birthday, the cold weather really starts to affect my mood and ‘eating my feelings’ doesn’t make ‘the cranky’ go away anymore. So I drink heavily instead. Not only does the drinking cheer me up, but also provides my body extra warmth in addition to my new layer of fat. (Smart thinkin’, right?) This phase comes right in time for RB’s birthday weekend in February where I will get stinkin’ drunk in her basement, do karaoke, argue about friends of hers I don’t like, do more karaoke and then end up collapsed on the floor in laughter. It’s also my sister’s birthday, as well as her last born’s birthday. The family will get together for dinner and birthday cake and it’s amazing that we’re all not sick of each other. I think if mum had one more child in the winter, that child wouldn’t get a party… just too much getting together. Good thing my brother and I usually celebrate ours in one combo party. February, I’ll start to try and exercise again, but it will be futile for I will be that aforementioned blubbery, fat piece of S. By March, my spirits improve, I usually start eating better (since there are no family parties) and I’ll probably be better at going to the gym.
Estimated weight gain in January and February: 12 lbs.

If you are keeping track, I’m estimating a 30 lb. weight gain this winter on top of the 8 lbs. I’ve already accumulated. This is not good. After re-reading this post, I think I may have to sit down with Mum and have her plan in advance her menus for all family events. Is this unreasonable? Then I can form an eating strategy for the winter where I’ll indulge once or twice, but other times eat salad, one meatball and maybe one bite of cheesecake. And I canNOT give up on my gym visits… no matter how badly I want to sit on NF’s couch instead, no matter how sniffly I get, no matter how dark and cold it is when I leave work… I must keep up with my good health and not become the Jabba the Hutt of Weytown! There’s just no excuse for me if I don’t. I implore all to send helpful tips on how to get through this winter without gaining back the weight I worked hard to lose!

But when the weather outside is frightful and Mum’s food is so delightful… *sigh*

I’m gearing up for a trip to the ‘Cuse this weekend to visit my friend and former roommate, RB. I’ve successfully strong-armed her via fb to host a game night on Friday night and then Saturday will be a big event: The NY State Fair. I’ve never been to the NY State fair, but I hear it’s a massive estate of epic proportions. And all the food is deep fried. And they have something called WINE SLUSHIES and sculptures made of BUTTER. This may be the new location where dreams come true (no longer Ocean State, MD). As you can conclude, I’m pretty excited to check it all out, as well as visit with my “kindred spirit” RB, in addition to HEKD, Double D and little “Bateman” (not to be confused with “Batman” who has long since been out of the picture). I’m hearing that other Syracuse friends will be poking in here and there during our weekend plans to say hello and visit with the Boston kids. I can’t wait to see every one!

I’ve just completed a little August hiatus from the gym. The week before my vacation, I didn’t feel like going (or working, really) so I was definitely Minimum-Effort-Girl that week. Then of course there was the week OF my vacation, of which there was no way in Hell I was going to ruin my week off with exercise. Then there was the recovery week after my vacation when Minimum-Effort-Girl returned. Then I pulled my neck (SO F-ING BAD) at my sister’s house that weekend when I had to catch her bunny who had escaped. That little furry jerk made me run through four neighbor’s yards before finally catching him and spasmed out my neck so hard that I saw stars. So there was another week I stayed away from the gym. But this week, I made my triumphant return and it really wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Tonight, I decided not to overdo it with another session on the PRECOR AMT 100i right before my trip and instead took a 30 min. walk through the neighborhoods.

It’s such a nice night out and it’s been absolutely perfect all week. I love this weather for every day living and super hot for vacation. It seems there is a full moon out tonight as well. I walked down KDM’s old street and remembered my driving instructor teaching me how to back up in a straight line on that road. I remembered picking up Kerri at her house. And how could I forget the memory of the day I went to drive her home and hydroplaned into the bushes! Good times. I also walked around my own neighborhood and remembered all my classmates who lived in all those houses… One is married to KDM’s old neighbor, one works at the Old Navy at Patriots Place (and is a fb friend), one I believe lives in Texas, one lives in AZ and I don’t know what happened to MDavis or MLyons… and there are others.  And here I am all left behind in the ol’ neighborhood. But the weather is nice so all is good. You can even smell the ocean tonight. For the past two days, I’ve spent my lunch hour at Wollaston Beach with a delicious salad. It’s not too windy or too hot to sit on the sea wall, so I quite enjoyed it. Of course, it was not so enjoyable when I got back in my car and my arm dipped into wet seagull poop on my seat. It’s a good thing I have napkins and half-drank water bottles in my car for cleaning. I’ll have to remember to shut the sunroof while dining on the sea wall.

I’ve just decided to pack for Syracuse tonight because I have a DATE tomorrow night. And not just a regular date… a THIRD date. Kind of nutty, right? Through the past 17 months of singleness, there has been no sign of this elusive phenomenon called a third date. There has been a bunch of first dates, one second date and a handful of experiences that we will just call “gray areas.” And now here it is before me, an actual 3rd date. This guy is VERY nice and behaves like such a gentlemen. This behavior is admittedly blowing me away. LK does not meet nice guys. LK attracts weirdos and scumbags. He treats me with such a high regard than what I’m used to… I really didn’t think there were any respectful men left in my age group. Speaking of age… he turns 30 next month, which means he’s a couple of years younger. Mum told Dad that he was a younger man and Dad says, “Oh! She’s a Cobra!”  He meant to say “Cougar” but got so excited at the prospect of sounding hip and cool, he said the wrong word. No worries, Dad, Cobra works too. :)

It’s been a rough week or so for ol’ LK and I apologize for the delay in updating the bloggo. Stress has been hitting me all around and I just haven’t been feeling much like writing any posts. Everytime I think about writing something, the posts are highly negative and no one wants to be invited to any of my pity parties. I also don’t want to call people out since I’ve now gone public… but since I’ve received a comment from r*becca where she has shown her displeasure about the lack of updates… here is your highly negative, finger-pointing, woe-is-me post from yours truly. You can thank her at your convenience.

When I am sad or frustrated, I try to do what others say you should do and “work it off” at the gym. Does this even work? I’ve been running on faith that it does, but I’m really thinking that it only adds to my current disfavor with life. My poor body is not like most and doesn’t respond too well to the sort of exertion needed to compensate for “working off” anger, anxiety or general depression. I also find it hard when stressed to obtain that ‘umph’ needed to create that fervent, climb-the-stairs-like-Rocky kind of energy. Maybe I need to like exercise more.

For example, last Monday someone asked me what happened with a guy I had gone out on a “friend date” with a month or so ago and I told her “not much” and then she asked what happened with the apt. I looked at and I told her “it was a dump that I couldn’t afford.” The next day (that would be Tuesday for all of you who only half-read these posts), a different someone asked me why my last relationship didn’t work and I had to rehash it all and answer some questions that brought all the shit-tastic memories up to the forefront. Tuesday evening’s workout allowed me to be one with my depressing thoughts. How are people able to “work it off” with mere physical exercise when it’s clear that your life is so ultimately disappointing? If anything, these thoughts make me more listless or sluggish – like a Sloth. I bet the Sloth wishes for a better life like me – why else does he move so slow? I bet he lives with his parents. I wonder if the Sloth has friends who are all well-established with property, relationships and general contentment that he does not possess? If so, I think I’ve just decided that I was a Sloth in a past life. Regardless, I think I was able to rise above just enough Tuesday evening to still get a good workout and put it all behind me for the time being.

Then last Thursday my co-worker dinner companions completely forgot about me at the end of a difficult day (one of 5 politically-difficult and emotionally draining work days last week) and left for the restaurant without me. I decided to not show up by myself where they undoubtedly had already started ordering and instead brought my insignificant self to the gym to “work it off.” I got caught up with watching Van Hesling while on the PRECOR AMT 100i and figured it was okay to do 45 min. instead of my usual 30. I also did a series of arm and leg work on some weight lifting machines, which I rarely do. When I came home to my usual lonely dinner in the dark kitchen, my body was shaking and I couldn’t stop sweating. Clearly, I was trying to beat out the self-loathing inside and overdid it just enough to ruin my outside. Mum came downstairs to chat and then the phone rang. (It’s been busy at my house with her leg manipulation procedure, a broken dryer and her ex-boyfriend passing away.) While she talked on the phone I figured some piano playing might calm the aches and shaking. After an hour, I realized my face was as sweaty as when I first came home, my breathing was strained and my back was slowly snapping in half. I went to bed with no shower and woke up really sick on Friday. On Friday afternoon, I decided that salads every day may be contributing to the weakness I had been trying to overcome all morning. I needed something hearty to stick to my bones. So after weeks of nothing but healthy food, I ordered a meatball sub w/provolone and an order of french fries. By the afternoon, when I was receiving more work that would require me to stay until 7 p.m., my stomach was struggling with the task of digesting this abomination of a lunch. It was not pretty.

I haven’t been to the gym since, nor have I eaten any more volatile meals. Since I have crossed these things off my list of awful things to do to myself, Saturday evening I went back to some old standbys of drinking too much. Now that we have once again placed my self worth alongside the price of moldy fruit, it’s time to tackle life again – hopefully with a better disposition. So forget “working it off” at the gym, you need to lash out in acts of self destruction before feeling better. Trust me on this.

This Friday begins a wondrous vacation (or Wey-cation since I will mostly be hanging out in Weytown if the weather doesn’t cooperate). It’s the first time I will have taken a whole week off in about two years! I hope to take this weekend through Monday (maybe Tuesday) to spend at our family camp and gain some peaceful solace. Hopefully, I can see JBP and Mikey P. at some point during that time too. On Tuesday, I get to see a gum specialist that afternoon because apparently I need “scaling” in addition to surgery because I have gum disease. Yay for #5 gum pockets. Then a restaurant week dinner with some of my favorite girls that evening. I’m also going to fit in a day to see HEKD and the baby since it will be over 2 weeks since Nathan has screamed at me (far too long to go without that pleasure). Then Thursday evening, amr, bykfam and myself drive overnight to Ocean City, MD, for a fun-filled beach weekend with our Weytown honey, kdm. There will be rock ‘n’ roll, lying out in the sun and some boardwalk type attractions. All this fun seems an entire planet away from the dreary existence that is currently LK. But I guess this is what vacations are for… to escape to a different world that’s a whole lot better than real life.

Sometimes people ask me, “Hey, LK, how come you don’t exercise outdoors?” And because I really don’t exercise outdoors, I really don’t have an answer for those inquiring minds. But today, my bloggos, I certainly do… and that answer is shin splints.

Sunday morning I awoke with such vigor. I napped the day before and also enjoyed a full night’s sleep. The sun was shining and there, literally, was not a cloud in the sky. I decided that I had time for a quick walk/run through the park at the end of my street before the 12 p.m. BBQ at HEKD’s house. I put on my sneakers and ran to the woods with the merriment of a child running to its mother’s arms. But then a couple of things surfaced that could be categorized as ‘not for LK.’

1) I forgot to put on a sports bra. I am not the most busty girl I know, but I learned that I do in fact need a sports bra when frolicking through the wooded park. I always remember to wear one at the gym, I don’t know why I thought it would be okay just because it was the outdoors.

2) Bugs like to fly at my face. I wouldn’t say that they LOVE to fly at my face, but it happened enough that they must at least like it a whole lot. Fortunately, I didn’t mistakenly eat any of them, but a couple definitely tried to enter my head through my eye socket. Have I mentioned that there are no bugs flying at my face at the gym?

Because of the two reasons above, the running turned into walking pretty fast. After 30 minutes, I wasn’t even really sweating. What a waste. Little did I know, the worst was yet to come.

I did, however, move on to a lovely BBQ at HEKD’s house where I ate a delicious hot dog and listened to Nathan scream a lot. Apparently, I really shouldn’t have taken that walk/run because I was an hour late! From there, I picked up Xtina (her new kitchen counters are SO NICE) and we attended DE’s lovely birthday BBQ in Bedford (also late). All good times, good friends and good food to make me forget about my disappointing morning.

I woke up on Monday morning with God awful shin splints. I used to get shin splints when I was a h.s. cheerleader from all the practicing on my jumps. I remember them hurting a lot, but pretending they didn’t because no one else had them but me. I think my weak skeletal structure doesn’t allow for running on pavement, just like it didn’t allow for lifting my entire body weight off the gym floor only to slam back down on my feet.

Sleeping was difficult last night. I even turned on my heating pad so I could alternate shins. How long before it goes away? Some sites say months! Needless to say, I will not be running outdoors anymore. Perhaps a leisurely walk, but it’s clear this poor, old body can’t handle outdoor exercise.

This whole experience has only strengthened my love for the PRECOR AMT 100i at the gym. I will never stray again and I hope it’s still waiting for me when I return… which probably won’t be this week since I’m still healing. But I’m really looking forward to striding in air while working up a substantial sweat. That’s the way exercise should be!