smiling on foot

We ended March with another (smaller) dose of water in the basement, but April is here and the sun is shining and I am really, really hoping that this is the end of the crazy rains. With the start of the new month, I’ve made some resolutions for myself. I used to have a roommate who used to perform various “experiments” to spice up her life. Some were more life-changing than others. I would say most were actual acts of self-improvement. One of my favorites was when she decided to french braid her hair everyday for a month. When I asked why she just coyly smiled and said, “It’s an experiment.” I’m not sure what sort of self-improvement this promoted… maybe it was just to commit to something as a form of discipline. To commit to something for an entire month is definitely HARD, but I’m going to try a couple of things for April:

1) No Diet Mountain Dew. It has been well-documented for some time how severely addicted I am to the dew. I don’t drink coffee so I start every morning with a dt. mt. dew to perk up my senses and keep me from getting a headache. To switch from regular to diet 5 years ago was a large undertaking, but now it needs to be taken to the next level. I have been drinking the dew everyday for years. I often joke that it’s like what Windex is to the Greeks and can cure all my ailments. However, I’ve recently been experiencing a burning in my stomach and acid in my throat. I don’t want to see a doctor about this, but I’m theorizing that the dew (along with boatloads of stress) is deteriorating my stomach lining. I resolved to stop drinking the dew on March 23rd, but caved on March 27th for just one can. I then bought a large package of lemon-lime gatorade and have been drinking those in place of the dew ever since. My head hurt for many of these last days in March, but I forged through. I’m surprised that I’m actually not that tired without it. Those electrolytes must really give you energy! So maybe I’m just replacing one addition with another and this can’t be seen as true improvement, but at least I don’t have that much acid reflux anymore. Bonus for me!

2) Get to work at 9:00 a.m. I’ve gradually been getting more and more riduculous with my arrival times at work. It’s been getting to the point that I’m sitting at home happily watching Ellen and eating my cereal at 9:05 and not getting to work until about 9:30. No one at work seems to care, but this is an act of a lazy girl. Even if no one at work finds it important for me to be at my desk in the morning, I have to pretend that it is just to make myself a more effective worker. And if I can truly make myself believe that I am important, then gosh golly won’t I be the happiest tiger in the jungle.

3) Twice a week gym visits. I went to the gym this past Tuesday, March 30th. This is the first time I’ve walked into the gym since the morning of March 1st when the hot water heater broke at home so I grumpily arrived at the BSC to just shower and leave. Actual exercise? Ummm… I think I might’ve gone once in February and maybe once in January. But those are mighty big “might haves” because I make it a practice to block out unpleasurable experiences so my recollection is foggy. But bathing suit season is right around the corner and I know that if I go twice a week, cut down on the soda and desk drawer of sweets (currently home to a full bag of yummy jelly beans)… I can lose maybe 6-8 lbs. Some may not feel this is a lot, but this 6-8 lbs is the difference of pants digging into my belly to pants fitting “okay” and right now we are in the digging into my belly stage.

(Which now that I’ve written this out makes me wonder if that physical stabbing of the waist of my pants might also contribute to my acid reflux? Hmm.)

So wish me luck as I embark on these very important initiatives for self-improvement in the month of April. Today is a sad day as my boss and mentor is leaving the company never to return. I will miss her so and may find myself drowning my sorrows in jelly beans this afternoon. But I’ll try and stay away from the dew… I just need to keep reminding myself that the dew won’t bring her back… *sad sigh*

Another addiction of mine from last year has resurfaced. AMR emailed me last week asking if I wanted to go tanning with her. I have minutes leftover (35) from last year’s tanning shenanigans at our local tanning salon so I said yes! We went last night and ohhhhh, does it feel goooood. My tan lines from last year never really went away completely so they have been given a little boost. I guess if the tan is artificial, it stays with you longer than a real one? We are going to go twice a week for a little while… just a little while. Did you hear tanning is going to be put on a list of carcenagins along with cigarettes? Like so many, many things… it’s so bad, but feels so good. And you wouldn’t think artificial heat lamps would be so enjoyable, but it really is addicting.

So at the end of April, I hope to 1) have zero acid reflux, 2) be on an earlier schedule that allows me to get to work on time, 3) lose a couple of pounds, 4) attain false hope that I’m important and 5) create a fake tan. I’ll check in with you in May and let you know my progress.

Now that Halloween is over… it’s pretty much all downhill from here. I don’t mean to be a negative Nancy, but I just love, love LOVE Halloween and then I hate, hate HATE cold weather and snow. I can’t help but feel a little down trodden once Halloween is over. The cold is creeping in and I’ve already started using my electric blanket. Cold weather tends to make me quite inactive and I’m really wanting to maintain my 25 lb. weight loss from earlier this year. But it’s actually proving quite difficult already.

First of all, I’m dating someone and that comes with nights out to eat and drinking during a new relationship. Secondly, Halloween candy and treats are EVERYWHERE at work. So I’ve gained back about 8 lbs. during September and October. But on the relationship front, I think we’ve now moved into another phase where we can spend a Saturday night cooking and watching a movie “on demand” instead of drinking beers and eating chicken fingers at the Ming. He’s a FANTASTIC cook and is not the mac & cheese kind of guy at all. We eat steak and veggies or stir fry or homemade pizza… mostly healthy stuff. So that should help. However, I find myself trading in my gym-nights to spend time watching TV and drinking wine with him. I need to get better with my 3 x’s a week gym schedule. I’m seriously losing my stamina to stay on that machine for any good length of time. I went on Monday after not going for 2 weeks and it was a poor, poor showing. I’m going back tonight and showing that Precor AMT 100i what I’m made of.

The winter also brings about a lot of family parties and that brings us back to eating. Mum, my two brothers, my sister and myself all have post-Halloween birthdays. My brother, CS, and his wife, LS, have birthdays around Veteran’s Day. There is usually a dinner and birthday cake made by Mum. I haven’t heard if it’s happening this year, but it probably will. And I will undoubtedly pig out on Mum’s cake and eat at least 3 tablespoons of frosting before she even gets a chance to use it. Side note: I’m disgusting when it comes to sugar… and it’s getting worse with age. The candy corn consumption this year was shocking even to myself. I could eat a whole bowl of Mum’s frosting, no problem… especially if it was lemon… mmm lemon frosting…
Estimated weight gain after CS and LS’s birthday: 4 lbs.

Then there is Thanksgiving which is a good excuse for Americans everywhere to partake in some good ol’ fashioned gluttony. Mum makes everything so, so, so good for Thanksgiving. Her apple pie is almost an art form that shouldn’t be eaten… almost…mmmm apple pie… Then there is her famous cheesecake. And the stuffing and the mashed potatoes… and did I mention the apple pie? Then I’m taking some time off work to perhaps go on a road trip with NF and friends. Road trip = fast food and many, many swedish fish for the drive.
Estimated weight gain after Thanksgiving Weekend: 6 lbs.

December brings forth many holiday parties, Mum’s birthday party, Christmas and then New Year’s. Mum makes the most delicious oriental meatballs that are best to consume immediately before cheesecake. I know it sounds strange, but I’ve been eating this combo for so long that I’m conditioned to want cheesecake (but only HER cheesecake) after eating those meatballs. I should mention that she puts delicious, syrupy, canned cherries on top of the cheesecake… mmm cheesecake… I can see my gym visits fading away by mid-December. My sister-in-law, LS, makes a great spread for Christmas Day and usually has these scrumptious little pastries from a friend’s bakery. I so look forward to those pastries. She also has many dishes of Italian food of which I make sure to eat one of each kind: manicotti, lasagna, meatballs, etc. Then on New Year’s, the friends will all gather at HEKD’s and order massive amounts of Chinese Food. Yup, I should be one, blubbery, fat, piece of S by then.
Estimated weight gain in December: 8 lbs.

Then in January, I will celebrate my birthday and my brother, AS’s, birthday. When I celebrate my birthday, I usually do so for at least a week beforehand and indulge in multiple celebrations with family and then friends. I’ll also convince myself that whatever Superbowl party I attend is actually a birthday celebration for me too. And I will go after a plate of nachos like they were made for only me and absolutely necessary to my existence on this planet. After my birthday, the cold weather really starts to affect my mood and ‘eating my feelings’ doesn’t make ‘the cranky’ go away anymore. So I drink heavily instead. Not only does the drinking cheer me up, but also provides my body extra warmth in addition to my new layer of fat. (Smart thinkin’, right?) This phase comes right in time for RB’s birthday weekend in February where I will get stinkin’ drunk in her basement, do karaoke, argue about friends of hers I don’t like, do more karaoke and then end up collapsed on the floor in laughter. It’s also my sister’s birthday, as well as her last born’s birthday. The family will get together for dinner and birthday cake and it’s amazing that we’re all not sick of each other. I think if mum had one more child in the winter, that child wouldn’t get a party… just too much getting together. Good thing my brother and I usually celebrate ours in one combo party. February, I’ll start to try and exercise again, but it will be futile for I will be that aforementioned blubbery, fat piece of S. By March, my spirits improve, I usually start eating better (since there are no family parties) and I’ll probably be better at going to the gym.
Estimated weight gain in January and February: 12 lbs.

If you are keeping track, I’m estimating a 30 lb. weight gain this winter on top of the 8 lbs. I’ve already accumulated. This is not good. After re-reading this post, I think I may have to sit down with Mum and have her plan in advance her menus for all family events. Is this unreasonable? Then I can form an eating strategy for the winter where I’ll indulge once or twice, but other times eat salad, one meatball and maybe one bite of cheesecake. And I canNOT give up on my gym visits… no matter how badly I want to sit on NF’s couch instead, no matter how sniffly I get, no matter how dark and cold it is when I leave work… I must keep up with my good health and not become the Jabba the Hutt of Weytown! There’s just no excuse for me if I don’t. I implore all to send helpful tips on how to get through this winter without gaining back the weight I worked hard to lose!

But when the weather outside is frightful and Mum’s food is so delightful… *sigh*