smiling on foot

My favorite holiday is coming up this Saturday and I am SO excited! Halloween is great. I love candy and all things sugar. (I am wearing my candy corn socks and they’re making me want to buy some!) I love the “spooky” decorations. I love stepping out of your normal self and dressing up as something fun. I’ve been slowly gathering items all month for my costume with glee. The house was decorated last Saturday with all my fun ghosts and skeletons hanging from everywhere. Tonight, AMR and I are doing some pumpkin carving and will add my jack-o-lanterns by the front stairs for all the trick-or-treaters this Saturday. Then after trick-or-treaters, there’s a Halloween party to attend with friends. It’s going to be such a great day!

I basically wake up on Halloween morning the way other girls wake up on their wedding day.

I will never be one of those people who don’t like to dress up for Halloween. When I was going with that Irish guy, he told me that no one in Ireland dresses up and that it’s just for kids. What?! I tried to explain that Halloween is a “party holiday” (no gift-giving, yay!) and since they are a “party culture” – I can’t imagine why they wouldn’t get into it. But many feel foolish dressing up in costume. Or they are all busy/stressed and adult-like so they can’t be bothered with silly nonsense like costumes. I get it, but I feel bad for those who can’t let loose and have fun with it. They are certainly missing out on how great it is to dress up weird and rip it up with your friends.

What are you going to be this year? NF and I are going to be Brangelina… yet we need to get our act together this week for the “brad” part of the costume. I found an Angelina dress (black and low-cut) at the Goodwill for $6 and had mum perform some alterations so that it’s not TOO revealing – but still revealing enough to get the point. I need someone to draw on the elaborate tattoos (I saved out a bunch of pics from the internet in preparation). Perhaps Mum, perhaps Xtina – probably not NF, although he said he’d do it. Do you think black pen is too permanent? I’m going to be so cold, but it’ll be worth it.

Whether you’re watching Halloween-themed movies and waiting for trick-or-treaters or heading out to a spooktacular party with friends, I hope everyone has a fun Halloween and enjoys the holiday!

Hilarious Halloween Costume Links:

Top Ten Tasteless Costumes

How to Find a Masculine Costume for your Effeminiate Son

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Yesterday, I entered a writing contest to describe my favorite Boston Moment to win a signed Red Sox jersey and a meal for two at Bacco that will include two perfectly mixed ABSOLUT BOSTON cocktails.  To be honest, I would trade the signed Red Sox jersey for a $30 bottle of ABSOLUT BOSTON, but I’m not sure negotiations are allowed.

I just went back to the listing of the contest because I wanted to look up the restaurant’s name… and just noticed that they wanted 50 words or less.  50 words or less!? And this is considered a contest!? If you are an avid reader of the bloggo, you’d know that 50 words or less is near impossible for me to describe anything. At this point of this very entry, we’re already at 132 words. Bogus.

So I submited 562 words about Marathon Monday 2008 that all lead up to my favorite Boston moment. And I think it’s pretty good. Maybe I’ll win anyway. Probably not. Oh snap… I hate when I don’t look before I leap.

There’s always the writing contest AMR has proposed where one has to submit a 2-page essay about their favorite foreign food.  Winners are selected to come over and enjoy a meal off the new raclette grill (a tabletop grill that she experienced in Switzerland and Bykfam bought one to teach us Americans the way).  The thing is, I am not one who likes foreign food. In fact, the more I hang out with NF, the more I’m realizing how picky my diet really is. I did try sushi with him one night and it was okay but not something I could call my “favorite” or write 2 pages about. In fact, most foreign food I eat is because I’m with someone who wants to eat these mildly edible concoctions and I just put up with it and try to be worldly.  I would say I like Italian… but Xtina told me that the Italian I like is really just “American Italian” and not the real deal. I guess the same would go for the Pu Pu platter at the Chinese restaurant. Not the real deal either, right? What about when I go to Mexican restaurants and say I want a quesadilla with just cheese and chicken and no onions, peppers or spicey things? Does that count?

So I will have to make something up since I have no favorite foreign food and do not want to risk the possibility of never eating off the new raclette grill! Hopefully, I have a slow day at work today or tomorrow so I can think of something.

HEKD is making fun of me because I was making fun of her choice of framed photos in her new house… every one of them a pic of her and her husband.  I told her, “We get it – you’re in looooove!”  What’s funny is that we then suddenly realized I have not appeared in any framed photos of hers during the entire decade of our friendship.  Then we thought back to the condo she lived in for about 6 years and confirmed that there were no framed photos of me on display at that place either.  I noted that she did have a framed photo of her friend LC and her husband MC on their wedding day… she used to have a framed photo of her and the tall one… and she has a framed photo of her with another girl she’s friends with (but she says it was a gift from that girl so I can’t be mad at that).  The point is, all these people aren’t as important as me and yet I have no presence in her house!  HEKD says she is working on a shrine in my honor if it will keep me happy. Well, it’s a start. Next, she will need to be sincere about worshiping it.

Then I was thinking about it some more and I don’t think any of my friends have framed photos of me in their living quarters… unless you count a photo of KDM, AMR and I on prom night in 1995 that is on display at AMR and Bykfam’s house.  If I am wrong, please let me know to help ease my mind. But even though my living space has decreased from a 2 BR apt. to just a single room within my parents’ house… I have pics of my friends all over! In fact, you would think I was in love with HEKD with amount of photos I have framed of her… at Vegas, at her wedding, at the cheesecake factory, etc.  AMR, RB, Bykfam, JBP, Xtina… they all are there on display so I can look at them lovingly and look forward to the next time I see them. The realization that no one does this for me is frankly devastating. Xtina doesn’t even have my 4th grade picture on display at her desk anymore.  :(  I’m feelin’ the non-love today. I see how it is.

On a related note… I have two very talented friends. One is a fiend at knitting and the other is a creative artist. Do you think either of them has ever made anything for me? Hellz no! I’ve been very good friends with them for years and watched with sadness as they’ve made project after project for every one else they know and nothing ever for me. What’s up that? Is it crass to complain about not receiving homemade gifts produced from their talents?  Probably. Are we close enough friends that they’ll think it’s funny? Likely. Have I been such a good friend that I deserve a homemade gift? You know it’s true. If I dote on my framed photos of my friends as much as I do, just think how much I’d adore your homemade gift! But don’t drop everything and make me something just because I’m sobbing every night at my multiple unrequited loves. I’ll survive. Don’t worry about me. But HEKD, I’m following up with you this weekend to see how the shrine is coming.

Dad turns 74 today… he’s getting up there!  I gave him a card about napping and it says “Nappy Birthday” inside. It couldn’t be more fitting. Kelly loves him some nap time! He will be celebrating by finishing up a graphic design project he’s been working on for a client and maybe some birthday cake later. Mum is making a Boston Cream Cake in his honor – mmmm. Tomorrow, he takes his lovely wife out for a steak dinner! Woo woo!

Happy 74th, Dad!

I sent this to a friend recently regarding someone we know’s recent (failed) endeavor of living independently. If only this person had come to me, I could have helped her situation with my experience, fo’ shiz. My friend suggested I post this list to the blog so everyone can learn from these tips and have more successful attempts at making it on their own. Because, after all, I am such an expert… <insert maniacal laughter here>. Perhaps this top ten list should really be named “Top Ten Tips on how to end up living with your parents to make up for your financial sins.” Here is a better version of the initial list I sent to my friend… the ketchup part is my favorite… hee hee. So reminiscent this week!

1) Charge your groceries and save your money for fun nights out and beer. The #1 golden rule is to never turn down a guaranteed fun night out because of $$. There are always credit cards to fall back on if need be.

2) Only eat french toast, grilled cheese, fried egg sandwiches and any other combination of bread, eggs and cheese for dinner for at least 2 weeks of the month. (at least.)

3) Don’t ever turn on the heat… electric blankets are okay… but if you can stay at the warmer parents, friend or boyfriend’s house on the weekends, it saves $$. (Plus, you can eat their food… and maybe even bring home leftovers.)

4) Charge any meals and even random morning ice cream cones at McDonald’s. They will gladly charge up a one dollar ice cream cone at 9 in the morning for your breakfast.

5) Don’t get depressed when you find yourself “in the red” every month – drink a bottle of wine and watch the Sopranos. Those people are way worse off than you. Actually, better yet, get a roommate who is as bad with money as you are to make you feel better about prioritizing beer over heat… or beer over paying bills… or beer over food… etc.

6) Steal. Restaurants practically expect their salt & pepper shakers to be stolen, so you might as well take those and whatever else is available. And really, what is your employer going to do with that bottle of ketchup after the company baseball hotdog party? Just take it.

7) Charge any clothing, housewares, car fixes or anything else you can’t afford on that credit card and don’t give it a second thought.

8) Every Sunday, cook pasta and mix with jarred sauce (*gasp*) for lunches during the week. However, if co-worker friends are going out for lunch, just say yes!

9) When you’re sick of pasta, host Girl-Dinners (dinner parties where everyone brings something) so everyone leaves the leftover food at your house to eat during the week.

10) Go “food shopping” whenever possible at your parents’ cupboards.

If your bar has a regular person who comes in every weekend (or every day), acts a little weird, but also exists as a sort of mascot for your bar… would it be considered bad or good for business?  I, personally, enjoy the regular. And I’m not talking about old, weathered men who are lonely and belly up to the local pub and look depressed. I’m also not talking about the chatty, overweight fellas like Norm and Cliff who enjoy a pint at their regular spot after a long day of work. I’m talking about the regular who is highly entertaining, who everyone ADORES and who absolutely marches to the beat of his own drum. If your bar has a regular such as this… does it mean your place is kind of seedy? Probably. Does it mean your place is fun? Absolutely! A reputable establishment is totally overrated – bring on the regulars!

Gorton’s Gone Bad
Where do you find a regular such as what I’ve described? I’ve encountered a few so far in my 11 years of legal drinking. The first that I can recall is when Weytown had their own Indian-themed (full-out Aladdin couches and such) night club located in an old mall up the street from my house. This mall was not like the huge malls we have today and not quite a strip mall… more like funky little mall made of cement that had a sweet fountain in the center of all its discount stores. The “night club” was creepy as Hell and I only went a few times. Each time, there was this old timer that would shuffle his way onto the dark, dismal dance floor and try and make it with the ladies. He looked like the Gorton’s Fisherman gone bad… definitely on drugs… and really, really f-ing old. But, hey, the ladies seemed to like him and must have found his sad, staggering dance endearing.

Maurice!
The second I can recall is by far my favorite. Just thinking about him makes me want to visit the ‘Ville and give my man, Maurice, a big hug (and surely get his sweat all over me). Maurice frequents the bars near where I used to live with RB back in the ‘Ville. We first met him on trivia nights at Magoon’s where he would watch sports and cheer (loudly) for the opposing team. I don’t know why he didn’t like to cheer for Boston teams, but we thought that THIS was his gimmick… we were wrong. We then spotted him at the Tavern down the road and that’s really where the magic happened. He goes there every weekend and is almost always wearing a sports jersey. Maurice is a gifted dancer. Now that I think of it, I bet he was severely devastated at the death of Michael Jackson. The DJs would put on Billie Jean just for Maurice and he did a sort of choreographed number while the crowd circled around and cheered. This had to be good for business, don’t you think? JBP and I danced with him a couple of times and he gave us some quick lessons on how to move like Michael Jackson. And who could forget the DANCE OFF between Blair and Maurice?! Blair was no match for the stylings of this famous regular. I would say that some of my best memories of that year took place at the Tavern… mainly due to Maurice’s presence, of course. :)

Yellow Fellow
The most recent regular that I’ve come to learn about is the one they call “The Yellow Man.” I’m guessing that he must have worn yellow a lot to get this name, but not sure. (He definitely doesn’t resemble Curious George’s “Man in the Yellow Hat” – so don’t get confused.) I first laid eyes on this man at the Blues Festival at the Marshfield Fair. He was just this small, elderly man with a long beard, loudly colored shirt, crazy hat and those “fun” over sized sunglasses. He was dancing like a loon between all the benches of seated people. Mum was dying to dance with him, but alas her bad knee would not allow. She urged me to dance with him, but I felt it was not the right time since I was sort of on a 2nd date at the Fair with NF. Plus, this dude looks batshit crazy and really no one else was dancing (unless you count children). Anyway… last Saturday, the family came together at the “night club” of Marshfield where people eat Chinese food in one room and then bust a move on the dance floor to a (terrible) cover band in another. It was my sister and brother-in-law’s 25th wedding anniversary. Upon arriving to the music room, my brother-in-law notified me that “The Yellow Man” was here and pointed at the elderly gentleman who I recognized from the Fair. He was dancing, of course, in his own weird, little way. The ladies immediately flocked around him like seagulls on an abandoned lunch at the beach. It was odd to watch. I mean, at least Maurice is young and relatively attractive. I meant to ask my brother-in-law why he has the name of The Yellow Man, but it’s probably better that I don’t know… gives him that element of *mystique.* I wonder if other establishments in the Marshfield area give The Man in Yellow a forum to showcase his dance moves and hit it with the ladies? Or would they think a man like this would be bad for business? I don’t think I’d want The Yellow Man at my bar… he has a weird vibe that’s not like the good natured Maurice. I wonder if he ever gets unruly and starts tipping over furniture and grabbing women inappropriately… I’ll keep you posted if I see him again. I seem to be hanging out in Marshfield a lot lately so the odds are in my favor.

Do you have a fun regular that frequents a bar or bars in your area? Does he creep you out or do you LOVE him? Is it a combination of both? Do you feel like he’s sort of a celebrity in your community? Have you ever encountered a regular that was FEMALE? Are YOU the regular in your community?  Inquiring minds want to know… feel free to use the comment link at the top of this post!

Long live the creepy, fun regulars in bars everywhere!

So this blog has been super public and live since mid July and there have been a handful of people who have found their way to smilingonfoot.com via searching for other things on the internet. Below are words that they entered into their favorite search site (mostly google) and somehow my blog came up for them and for whatever reason, they clicked and arrived. I’m sure they were all disappointed that my blog is not dedicated to their topic at hand (you know who you are you weird foot fetish people)… but all the people with the cat pee problems definitely got a good recommendation with that new catbox I bought. It was a good solution for my cats, mos def.  And I hope all the skype people not only looked at my entry about skyping with RB, but also clicked through to RB’s skyping post. Perhaps she could shed some light on that analysis. Any who… here are some of recent search terms for this here bloggo:

- if you dont use IM more often, I swear to god, elle kay – smiling on foot [this is my friend, DS, who likes to communicate via my search terms because he knows I check them]

- why dont you ever sign online LK? smiling on foot [him again]

- how to stop cats from peeing on edge of catbox [I feel their pain - get the catbox I have and your dreams will come true]

- precor 100i boston [this person happens to be from Jamaica Plain - but I have many people looking up my fave machine at the gym]

- cat pees over side of catbox [seems to be a common issue... epidemic even]

- giant catbox [what?]

- skype smilings [this is one of many skype entries - I hope they enjoyed screenshots of RB skyping with me]

- night clubs people 40 dance along south “shore of MA” [this savvy person used bing.com and works at Blue Cross Blue Shield]

- skypohontas [someone in Moscow who's obsessed with RB]

- harem pants [someone in Singapore with bad fashion sense]

- LK i know you read these, smiling on foot [guess who again!]

- video smiling woman feet [I have a feeling this person in Athens, Greece just may be my soul mate - I have smiling woman feet!]

- cat tail twitching urinating [what? my cat isn't the only one?!]

I’ve been a bad friend lately. I’ve been spending so much time with my new “interest” that I really haven’t seen much of my girls these past couple of weeks. Yikes, I’m THAT girl. Ugh. Well, that all changes as of tomorrow. After work, I’ll be traveling up to the Watch City to see Xtina and have some Thursday night drinkies and eats at our favorite restaurant. Then on Friday after work, I’ll be traveling up to N. Andover to hang with AMR and HEKD at HEKD and Double D’s new house. I was there a couple of weeks ago to help on move-in day and it’s really a nice place. I love those 100-year old houses and the old fashioned wide wood floor boards. But my favorite thing in the whole house is the doorknob on the front door (see below). It’s so antique looking with its filigree stylings. I bonded with my Godson while everyone else carried H and D’s belongings from the storage unit into the house. Then I unpacked and organized the kitchen. I love organizing kitchens – it’s the most fun room in the house to work on. HEKD disagrees and says the baby’s room is the most fun. All I say to that is: bah! So I guess I’ll get to see the full setup on Friday. I’m looking forward to it!

It’s 5 a.m., my medicine has worn off and the pain from Tuesday’s gum surgery has awakened me. Needless to say, I am not a happy LK. Have I told you why my gums are in need of so much repair? Probably not, so here you are…

One day 3 years ago, I was chatting with JBP at the ol’ workplace when my filling just popped right out of my mouth. Thank goodness I was talking to a friend and not the CEO or anything (because the CEO and I were total Bifskies).  As it turned out, the tooth was so grinded (fyi – grinded is not a real word) away, it could not be filled again and the dentist I went to at the time opted for a crown.  The crown felt a little sensitive, but I figured that was part of having a crown. Fast forward 2 1/2 years and the sensitivity has increased. At a regular cleaning with my Weytown dentist, I bring it up to him and he says that there’s a gap and who knows what’s going on under there. This was when the fun started.  There are just 10 easy steps to the sort of Dental fun and good times that I’ve been fortunate to experience and await me in the near future:

1) Weytown dentist says I need to pay my old dentist a visit and request a new crown for free. Not an awkward request at all. I did take off a half day at work and drove all the way up to Woburn for the old dentist to tell me there’s nothing wrong with this crown and that I need a root canal.

2) I then made an appt. with the root canal specialist at my Weytown dentist. He told me that I don’t need a root canal, but I could have gum disease and to meet with the gum specialist.

3) I met with the gum specialist and he said I did indeed have some sort of inflammation surrounding this crown… mainly due to the crown being too big for my mouth.

4) Following the gum specialist’s treatment plan, I went for a “scaling” or “deep cleaning” that lasted a little over 2 hours. I borrowed an anti-anxiety drug for this visit. The Novocain application was the worst ever. Ever. The girl was young and most likely fresh out of dental school. She jammed that thing so hard into the back of my mouth that it took my breath away. Then tears started to stream down the sides of my face as I tried to stay still and wait for it to be over. When she saw the tears, she told me I was doing great and jammed it harder while holding my head to be doubly sure I wasn’t going to move. I don’t cry in the dentist chair ever. Ever. I only hope she improves her Novocain implementation skills in time.When standing at the reception desk making my next appt., the receptionist asked if I was okay. I was just blankly staring out the window… half loopy on anti-anxiety medicine and half traumatized and responded in a distant voice, “Dental work is sad…”  She agreed. Then I went back to work for the day.

5) A couple of weeks later, I went in to have my crown removed and a temporary one put in its place. This time, my Weytown dentist did the Novocain application and he did it with far less brutality and pain. However, when he told me to rinse when he was done, I realized my hands were shaking. I didn’t take an anti-anxiety pill for this procedure, but perhaps I was more traumatized from the last visit than I thought. I wore my iPod throughout, but there was no drowning out the crunch sound of the crown as he took it out of my mouth in pieces. Gross! But overall, this visit wasn’t so bad.

6) Two days ago was the gum surgery. The gum specialist sliced open my gums to clean out the bacteria that had been collected and trapped under my too-big-crown and then gave me stitches. I borrowed another anti-anxiety drug for this visit and had Mum drive me there. Mum asked how I was feeling in the waiting room and if I was nervous. I told her that I wasn’t really nervous, but just sad that I had to be there. She laughed and said that perhaps this is my reaction to anti-anxiety medicine – sad.  I really didn’t know what to expect and thought maybe I’d get some of my errands done later that afternoon. Boy, was I wrong! This was another 2-hour visit and the iPod came out again. The special bonus of gum surgery, is that not only do you get the big jab of Novocain at the back of your mouth, but you also get repeated little needles of Novocain applied all along the outside of your gums and then all along the inside. Needles. Stuck into your gums. Repeatedly. Surgery was noisy and wet. I had to wear goggles. When the Novocain wore off, it was bad. I was so wiped out, I could barely make it to CVS to get my prescriptions. I took my first 800 mg of Motrin at 1:30 and by 3:30, I was alive again. I even played the piano. NF came over and I had another pill with dinner. We laughed and talked through the movie I had put on for us and then I felt a little twinge… and then it hurt… and then it felt really warm in my mouth. I think I pulled one of my stitches out.  But that whole area is covered with a wax-like substance (called “the dressing”), so I can’t be sure of what’s happening. NF was leaving anyway so I walked him out and then stuffed a pile of gauze in my mouth and went to sleep like that. Thankfully, the bleeding stopped (mostly) by the next morning. But I felt like someone beat my face in and left me for dead. I somehow dragged myself downstairs and made some soft and warm french toast followed by 800 mg of Motrin. I was still wiped out and in some pain for work, but I could still function okay.

7) Next up will be stitches removal on October 1st. They told me it’s pretty quick.

8) 6-8 weeks after stitches removal, I will get my brand spanking new crown, that hopefully is not too big for my mouth.

9) I don’t know the specifics of my new dental insurance, but I had to pay $550 this week and I have another $550 on my account that I’ll pay later. And I’m sure there’s more to come. Better to get this over with while I’m living at home, I guess.

10) Enjoy a healthy mouth that will include one perfect crown on top of the cleanest gum line in the south shore!

The good news is… NF and I are official.  Official, in that, we are officially bf and gf. The bad news is… you bloggos will no longer get to enjoy my ‘adventures in online dating’ posts that were such a big hit on the last blog!

NF turns 30 this week and also is moving into his own 1 BR apt. this weekend. So this is a big week for him! I’m looking forward to his birthday celebration this weekend.

I’ve received many requests from my own friend group to meet NF.  Soon, my friends, soon. And for the love of God, be on your best behavior and be sure to talk me up real good.