smiling on foot

My streak of failed relationships is successfully intact. And it’s okay. As a professional girlfriend, I rarely have a relationship that lasts less than a year, but the latest lasted just under 6 months. I don’t know if it’s the short duration of the relationship or the fact that it’s my umteenth boyfriend I’ve had to say Sayonara to (perhaps a bit of both), but I am surprisingly okay with everything. I cried for a week after we broke up and was generally sad for a week after that. I talked things out with a few close friends and then thoughts of him just fizzled away… just like magic. Now that I think of it, a substantial portion of what makes things okay probably has something to do with the low caliber of manhood this particular ex-boyfriend displayed. Breaking up was a no-brainer. But I won’t go into name-calling on this one. We’ll just say he wasn’t for me and I wish him well. I think 6 months is about the time when you get to know someone for who they really are and there’s no more of that “best foot forward” nonsense or even that “rose-colored glasses” nonsense from the beginning months. So you date and get to know each other and sometimes it’s not a fit and you break up before “real” feelings are invested. Not a terribly uncommon story. I think of him fondly as someone who sort of brought me back to life in the romance realm and I’m glad to have known him at this time in my life. And all this being okay is really a shocker for me (and I’m not talking about the hand gesture). I’m usually a lot more emotionally effected by these types of things. Perhaps we should throw in a little “growing up” in the mix too. Whatever the reason may be, it’s obvious that the way my head works has changed significantly over the past couple of years. And for right now, I think I’ve come to terms with not having a boyfriend for a while – there are other things in life I can focus on… and other things I absolutely NEED to focus on to make me happier in this life – that does not involve dudes. So stay tuned for more major personal growth in 2010. Maybe I’ll fall in love in 2011. It would be nice to do that one more time before the end of the world the following year.

Work has been kickin’ my butt the past couple of weeks and blogging hasn’t been top of mind. Apologies. Thanksgiving weekend is the time of year when we make more money than any other week of the year. And because it’s so important, the powers-that-be conduct many meetings discussing promotions and marketing messaging… and change the promotions and marketing messaging over and over and over again… which creates lots of work. But whatever. I’m pretty much AWESOME and get it all done and make it happen so it’s all good.

Work has also moved my desk temporarily. I used to have a really private back corner desk that was shared with my cube-mate who is currently out on short-term disability. But they’ve decided to remove our cubes, build a wall and make that back corner into a corner office. My new cubicle location is much more public and people keep talking to me a lot more. So with the increase in holiday work in addition to the influx of people talking to me… I stay late a lot and this needs to stop. I often think of an old co-worker who used to put a “go away” sign on his cube when he needed to get stuff done. I haven’t ruled it out.

In October, my boss emailed the e-comm team about PTO (Paid Time Off) that we needed to take before the end of the year or we’ll lose it. Guess who the winner was who rarely takes time off and has the most hours on her record? Oh yes, yours truly went ahead and took some days in November and December. But with every day off I take, there seems to be some people who get upset over it… which is probably why I don’t take time off very often! Oh well. I took off 11/13 and 11/16 and it was kind of nuts leading up to it and then the week when I returned, I worked so late every night to catchup and get ready for the holiday it hardly seemed worth it. But on the day of the 16th, I was able to go to Mum’s fancy gym with her using her annual free guest pass… and subsequently contract a UTI after sitting in the jacuzzi. AWESOME. That was the last time I went to the gym in November.

When gearing up for Thanksgiving week, I was telling Mum how I just feel like I’m always rushing. Rushing to get to places (always arriving late), rushing to do laundry before bed, rushing to get stuff done at work before a certain time, rushing to get to my BF’s apt. before he turns into a pumpkin at 10… I’ve just been behind on everything (especially work-related stuff) and still fitting in more and more into my schedule. So I took off Monday through Wednesday after Thanksgiving and it has done a WORLD of good. Sure, I’m still getting phone calls from work, but I’ve been able to catch up on so many things: laundry, unread emails from 2 weeks ago, learning how to use my new Droid phone (which is awesome), painted my nails and today I may actually go to the gym.

The day before Thanksgiving was a half day for the company… but this always excludes the e-comm team… especially me… especially when I’m taking off the Mon thru Wed after the holiday. So I was rushing, rushing, rushing and finally got out of there. And the plan was to go home and quickly make some lemon meringue pies and then go to NF’s place. I ran around the house looking for pie shells when Mum had put them, and all ingredients I needed, in a plastic bag on the table for me to make things easier. I don’t know why I didn’t see it. This is what happens when I’m rushing. So I separated out the 4 egg yolks and the whites into two bowls and began making the lemon filling, double the recipe. And without even thinking about what I was doing, I dumped in the egg whites into the mixture when I was supposed to put in the yolks. I was so mad. Then NF called at that moment and said he was crazy busy getting ready for his holiday and weekend away and could he just see me on Friday. Now I was mad AND disappointed. I dumped everything down the sink and started all over. Thankfully, we had two more boxes of lemon pie filling hanging around (it’s my favorite so mum always has it on hand). My sister and niece came over that night for a sleepover to “help” with Thanksgiving the next morning. Ever hear about how too many cooks spoil the broth? Yeah, things were a little chaotic on Thanksgiving, but the dinner was fantastic and the lemon meringue pie was nothing short of amazing. :)

Monday morning, I spent about 4 hours perusing Cyber Monday deals and phoning the companies with additional codes found online. I wish I could say that most of that shopping were for holiday gifts, but buying for me is just so much easier than buying gifts for others! However, there were some gifts purchased too. There will be many boxes delivered to this house over the coming weeks. I think I’ll at least take off Cyber Monday every year just to do this. So many great deals online. Then Mum and I went shopping at the local Goodwill on Tuesday. I didn’t purchase anything, but boy do I love the people watching. And when I get a place someday, I’m totally doing my furniture shopping there. They had some really cool antique-y furniture that I was falling in love with left and right. I love shopping.

Last night, I was able to see my friend, Katie Z., for our own game of catchup since the last time we visited was JULY. Holy moly. You would never know we live in the same town! We drank almost two whole bottles of red wine in a 5 hours period. :) Go us! Last Saturday, I was able to meet my friend, Xtina, for dinner after not seeing her for many weeks and then we hit up the Bykfam birthday bash where good times were had. I feel like this past week has been a good balance of friend time, family time and catching up on chores/errands time. NF went to Albany, NY and then Portland, ME this past weekend to follow his favorite live band, Phish. He had wanted me to go with him and his friend, but I’m glad I stayed back and saw some friends and got some R&R. Going back to work tomorrow is going to be way harsh. Waayyy harsh. I had originally wanted to fit in a visit with HEKD on Friday, but the reality is just that I’m going to be working late Thursday and Friday. And if I don’t work late, I’m going to start the holiday month behind, I’ll be back to square one and you Bloggos won’t hear from me for like a month. :) And no one wants that!

Now that Halloween is over… it’s pretty much all downhill from here. I don’t mean to be a negative Nancy, but I just love, love LOVE Halloween and then I hate, hate HATE cold weather and snow. I can’t help but feel a little down trodden once Halloween is over. The cold is creeping in and I’ve already started using my electric blanket. Cold weather tends to make me quite inactive and I’m really wanting to maintain my 25 lb. weight loss from earlier this year. But it’s actually proving quite difficult already.

First of all, I’m dating someone and that comes with nights out to eat and drinking during a new relationship. Secondly, Halloween candy and treats are EVERYWHERE at work. So I’ve gained back about 8 lbs. during September and October. But on the relationship front, I think we’ve now moved into another phase where we can spend a Saturday night cooking and watching a movie “on demand” instead of drinking beers and eating chicken fingers at the Ming. He’s a FANTASTIC cook and is not the mac & cheese kind of guy at all. We eat steak and veggies or stir fry or homemade pizza… mostly healthy stuff. So that should help. However, I find myself trading in my gym-nights to spend time watching TV and drinking wine with him. I need to get better with my 3 x’s a week gym schedule. I’m seriously losing my stamina to stay on that machine for any good length of time. I went on Monday after not going for 2 weeks and it was a poor, poor showing. I’m going back tonight and showing that Precor AMT 100i what I’m made of.

The winter also brings about a lot of family parties and that brings us back to eating. Mum, my two brothers, my sister and myself all have post-Halloween birthdays. My brother, CS, and his wife, LS, have birthdays around Veteran’s Day. There is usually a dinner and birthday cake made by Mum. I haven’t heard if it’s happening this year, but it probably will. And I will undoubtedly pig out on Mum’s cake and eat at least 3 tablespoons of frosting before she even gets a chance to use it. Side note: I’m disgusting when it comes to sugar… and it’s getting worse with age. The candy corn consumption this year was shocking even to myself. I could eat a whole bowl of Mum’s frosting, no problem… especially if it was lemon… mmm lemon frosting…
Estimated weight gain after CS and LS’s birthday: 4 lbs.

Then there is Thanksgiving which is a good excuse for Americans everywhere to partake in some good ol’ fashioned gluttony. Mum makes everything so, so, so good for Thanksgiving. Her apple pie is almost an art form that shouldn’t be eaten… almost…mmmm apple pie… Then there is her famous cheesecake. And the stuffing and the mashed potatoes… and did I mention the apple pie? Then I’m taking some time off work to perhaps go on a road trip with NF and friends. Road trip = fast food and many, many swedish fish for the drive.
Estimated weight gain after Thanksgiving Weekend: 6 lbs.

December brings forth many holiday parties, Mum’s birthday party, Christmas and then New Year’s. Mum makes the most delicious oriental meatballs that are best to consume immediately before cheesecake. I know it sounds strange, but I’ve been eating this combo for so long that I’m conditioned to want cheesecake (but only HER cheesecake) after eating those meatballs. I should mention that she puts delicious, syrupy, canned cherries on top of the cheesecake… mmm cheesecake… I can see my gym visits fading away by mid-December. My sister-in-law, LS, makes a great spread for Christmas Day and usually has these scrumptious little pastries from a friend’s bakery. I so look forward to those pastries. She also has many dishes of Italian food of which I make sure to eat one of each kind: manicotti, lasagna, meatballs, etc. Then on New Year’s, the friends will all gather at HEKD’s and order massive amounts of Chinese Food. Yup, I should be one, blubbery, fat, piece of S by then.
Estimated weight gain in December: 8 lbs.

Then in January, I will celebrate my birthday and my brother, AS’s, birthday. When I celebrate my birthday, I usually do so for at least a week beforehand and indulge in multiple celebrations with family and then friends. I’ll also convince myself that whatever Superbowl party I attend is actually a birthday celebration for me too. And I will go after a plate of nachos like they were made for only me and absolutely necessary to my existence on this planet. After my birthday, the cold weather really starts to affect my mood and ‘eating my feelings’ doesn’t make ‘the cranky’ go away anymore. So I drink heavily instead. Not only does the drinking cheer me up, but also provides my body extra warmth in addition to my new layer of fat. (Smart thinkin’, right?) This phase comes right in time for RB’s birthday weekend in February where I will get stinkin’ drunk in her basement, do karaoke, argue about friends of hers I don’t like, do more karaoke and then end up collapsed on the floor in laughter. It’s also my sister’s birthday, as well as her last born’s birthday. The family will get together for dinner and birthday cake and it’s amazing that we’re all not sick of each other. I think if mum had one more child in the winter, that child wouldn’t get a party… just too much getting together. Good thing my brother and I usually celebrate ours in one combo party. February, I’ll start to try and exercise again, but it will be futile for I will be that aforementioned blubbery, fat piece of S. By March, my spirits improve, I usually start eating better (since there are no family parties) and I’ll probably be better at going to the gym.
Estimated weight gain in January and February: 12 lbs.

If you are keeping track, I’m estimating a 30 lb. weight gain this winter on top of the 8 lbs. I’ve already accumulated. This is not good. After re-reading this post, I think I may have to sit down with Mum and have her plan in advance her menus for all family events. Is this unreasonable? Then I can form an eating strategy for the winter where I’ll indulge once or twice, but other times eat salad, one meatball and maybe one bite of cheesecake. And I canNOT give up on my gym visits… no matter how badly I want to sit on NF’s couch instead, no matter how sniffly I get, no matter how dark and cold it is when I leave work… I must keep up with my good health and not become the Jabba the Hutt of Weytown! There’s just no excuse for me if I don’t. I implore all to send helpful tips on how to get through this winter without gaining back the weight I worked hard to lose!

But when the weather outside is frightful and Mum’s food is so delightful… *sigh*

My favorite holiday is coming up this Saturday and I am SO excited! Halloween is great. I love candy and all things sugar. (I am wearing my candy corn socks and they’re making me want to buy some!) I love the “spooky” decorations. I love stepping out of your normal self and dressing up as something fun. I’ve been slowly gathering items all month for my costume with glee. The house was decorated last Saturday with all my fun ghosts and skeletons hanging from everywhere. Tonight, AMR and I are doing some pumpkin carving and will add my jack-o-lanterns by the front stairs for all the trick-or-treaters this Saturday. Then after trick-or-treaters, there’s a Halloween party to attend with friends. It’s going to be such a great day!

I basically wake up on Halloween morning the way other girls wake up on their wedding day.

I will never be one of those people who don’t like to dress up for Halloween. When I was going with that Irish guy, he told me that no one in Ireland dresses up and that it’s just for kids. What?! I tried to explain that Halloween is a “party holiday” (no gift-giving, yay!) and since they are a “party culture” – I can’t imagine why they wouldn’t get into it. But many feel foolish dressing up in costume. Or they are all busy/stressed and adult-like so they can’t be bothered with silly nonsense like costumes. I get it, but I feel bad for those who can’t let loose and have fun with it. They are certainly missing out on how great it is to dress up weird and rip it up with your friends.

What are you going to be this year? NF and I are going to be Brangelina… yet we need to get our act together this week for the “brad” part of the costume. I found an Angelina dress (black and low-cut) at the Goodwill for $6 and had mum perform some alterations so that it’s not TOO revealing – but still revealing enough to get the point. I need someone to draw on the elaborate tattoos (I saved out a bunch of pics from the internet in preparation). Perhaps Mum, perhaps Xtina – probably not NF, although he said he’d do it. Do you think black pen is too permanent? I’m going to be so cold, but it’ll be worth it.

Whether you’re watching Halloween-themed movies and waiting for trick-or-treaters or heading out to a spooktacular party with friends, I hope everyone has a fun Halloween and enjoys the holiday!

Hilarious Halloween Costume Links:

Top Ten Tasteless Costumes

How to Find a Masculine Costume for your Effeminiate Son

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HEKD is making fun of me because I was making fun of her choice of framed photos in her new house… every one of them a pic of her and her husband.  I told her, “We get it – you’re in looooove!”  What’s funny is that we then suddenly realized I have not appeared in any framed photos of hers during the entire decade of our friendship.  Then we thought back to the condo she lived in for about 6 years and confirmed that there were no framed photos of me on display at that place either.  I noted that she did have a framed photo of her friend LC and her husband MC on their wedding day… she used to have a framed photo of her and the tall one… and she has a framed photo of her with another girl she’s friends with (but she says it was a gift from that girl so I can’t be mad at that).  The point is, all these people aren’t as important as me and yet I have no presence in her house!  HEKD says she is working on a shrine in my honor if it will keep me happy. Well, it’s a start. Next, she will need to be sincere about worshiping it.

Then I was thinking about it some more and I don’t think any of my friends have framed photos of me in their living quarters… unless you count a photo of KDM, AMR and I on prom night in 1995 that is on display at AMR and Bykfam’s house.  If I am wrong, please let me know to help ease my mind. But even though my living space has decreased from a 2 BR apt. to just a single room within my parents’ house… I have pics of my friends all over! In fact, you would think I was in love with HEKD with amount of photos I have framed of her… at Vegas, at her wedding, at the cheesecake factory, etc.  AMR, RB, Bykfam, JBP, Xtina… they all are there on display so I can look at them lovingly and look forward to the next time I see them. The realization that no one does this for me is frankly devastating. Xtina doesn’t even have my 4th grade picture on display at her desk anymore.  :(  I’m feelin’ the non-love today. I see how it is.

On a related note… I have two very talented friends. One is a fiend at knitting and the other is a creative artist. Do you think either of them has ever made anything for me? Hellz no! I’ve been very good friends with them for years and watched with sadness as they’ve made project after project for every one else they know and nothing ever for me. What’s up that? Is it crass to complain about not receiving homemade gifts produced from their talents?  Probably. Are we close enough friends that they’ll think it’s funny? Likely. Have I been such a good friend that I deserve a homemade gift? You know it’s true. If I dote on my framed photos of my friends as much as I do, just think how much I’d adore your homemade gift! But don’t drop everything and make me something just because I’m sobbing every night at my multiple unrequited loves. I’ll survive. Don’t worry about me. But HEKD, I’m following up with you this weekend to see how the shrine is coming.

Dad turns 74 today… he’s getting up there!  I gave him a card about napping and it says “Nappy Birthday” inside. It couldn’t be more fitting. Kelly loves him some nap time! He will be celebrating by finishing up a graphic design project he’s been working on for a client and maybe some birthday cake later. Mum is making a Boston Cream Cake in his honor – mmmm. Tomorrow, he takes his lovely wife out for a steak dinner! Woo woo!

Happy 74th, Dad!

So this blog has been super public and live since mid July and there have been a handful of people who have found their way to smilingonfoot.com via searching for other things on the internet. Below are words that they entered into their favorite search site (mostly google) and somehow my blog came up for them and for whatever reason, they clicked and arrived. I’m sure they were all disappointed that my blog is not dedicated to their topic at hand (you know who you are you weird foot fetish people)… but all the people with the cat pee problems definitely got a good recommendation with that new catbox I bought. It was a good solution for my cats, mos def.  And I hope all the skype people not only looked at my entry about skyping with RB, but also clicked through to RB’s skyping post. Perhaps she could shed some light on that analysis. Any who… here are some of recent search terms for this here bloggo:

- if you dont use IM more often, I swear to god, elle kay – smiling on foot [this is my friend, DS, who likes to communicate via my search terms because he knows I check them]

- why dont you ever sign online LK? smiling on foot [him again]

- how to stop cats from peeing on edge of catbox [I feel their pain - get the catbox I have and your dreams will come true]

- precor 100i boston [this person happens to be from Jamaica Plain - but I have many people looking up my fave machine at the gym]

- cat pees over side of catbox [seems to be a common issue... epidemic even]

- giant catbox [what?]

- skype smilings [this is one of many skype entries - I hope they enjoyed screenshots of RB skyping with me]

- night clubs people 40 dance along south “shore of MA” [this savvy person used bing.com and works at Blue Cross Blue Shield]

- skypohontas [someone in Moscow who's obsessed with RB]

- harem pants [someone in Singapore with bad fashion sense]

- LK i know you read these, smiling on foot [guess who again!]

- video smiling woman feet [I have a feeling this person in Athens, Greece just may be my soul mate - I have smiling woman feet!]

- cat tail twitching urinating [what? my cat isn't the only one?!]

It’s 5 a.m., my medicine has worn off and the pain from Tuesday’s gum surgery has awakened me. Needless to say, I am not a happy LK. Have I told you why my gums are in need of so much repair? Probably not, so here you are…

One day 3 years ago, I was chatting with JBP at the ol’ workplace when my filling just popped right out of my mouth. Thank goodness I was talking to a friend and not the CEO or anything (because the CEO and I were total Bifskies).  As it turned out, the tooth was so grinded (fyi – grinded is not a real word) away, it could not be filled again and the dentist I went to at the time opted for a crown.  The crown felt a little sensitive, but I figured that was part of having a crown. Fast forward 2 1/2 years and the sensitivity has increased. At a regular cleaning with my Weytown dentist, I bring it up to him and he says that there’s a gap and who knows what’s going on under there. This was when the fun started.  There are just 10 easy steps to the sort of Dental fun and good times that I’ve been fortunate to experience and await me in the near future:

1) Weytown dentist says I need to pay my old dentist a visit and request a new crown for free. Not an awkward request at all. I did take off a half day at work and drove all the way up to Woburn for the old dentist to tell me there’s nothing wrong with this crown and that I need a root canal.

2) I then made an appt. with the root canal specialist at my Weytown dentist. He told me that I don’t need a root canal, but I could have gum disease and to meet with the gum specialist.

3) I met with the gum specialist and he said I did indeed have some sort of inflammation surrounding this crown… mainly due to the crown being too big for my mouth.

4) Following the gum specialist’s treatment plan, I went for a “scaling” or “deep cleaning” that lasted a little over 2 hours. I borrowed an anti-anxiety drug for this visit. The Novocain application was the worst ever. Ever. The girl was young and most likely fresh out of dental school. She jammed that thing so hard into the back of my mouth that it took my breath away. Then tears started to stream down the sides of my face as I tried to stay still and wait for it to be over. When she saw the tears, she told me I was doing great and jammed it harder while holding my head to be doubly sure I wasn’t going to move. I don’t cry in the dentist chair ever. Ever. I only hope she improves her Novocain implementation skills in time.When standing at the reception desk making my next appt., the receptionist asked if I was okay. I was just blankly staring out the window… half loopy on anti-anxiety medicine and half traumatized and responded in a distant voice, “Dental work is sad…”  She agreed. Then I went back to work for the day.

5) A couple of weeks later, I went in to have my crown removed and a temporary one put in its place. This time, my Weytown dentist did the Novocain application and he did it with far less brutality and pain. However, when he told me to rinse when he was done, I realized my hands were shaking. I didn’t take an anti-anxiety pill for this procedure, but perhaps I was more traumatized from the last visit than I thought. I wore my iPod throughout, but there was no drowning out the crunch sound of the crown as he took it out of my mouth in pieces. Gross! But overall, this visit wasn’t so bad.

6) Two days ago was the gum surgery. The gum specialist sliced open my gums to clean out the bacteria that had been collected and trapped under my too-big-crown and then gave me stitches. I borrowed another anti-anxiety drug for this visit and had Mum drive me there. Mum asked how I was feeling in the waiting room and if I was nervous. I told her that I wasn’t really nervous, but just sad that I had to be there. She laughed and said that perhaps this is my reaction to anti-anxiety medicine – sad.  I really didn’t know what to expect and thought maybe I’d get some of my errands done later that afternoon. Boy, was I wrong! This was another 2-hour visit and the iPod came out again. The special bonus of gum surgery, is that not only do you get the big jab of Novocain at the back of your mouth, but you also get repeated little needles of Novocain applied all along the outside of your gums and then all along the inside. Needles. Stuck into your gums. Repeatedly. Surgery was noisy and wet. I had to wear goggles. When the Novocain wore off, it was bad. I was so wiped out, I could barely make it to CVS to get my prescriptions. I took my first 800 mg of Motrin at 1:30 and by 3:30, I was alive again. I even played the piano. NF came over and I had another pill with dinner. We laughed and talked through the movie I had put on for us and then I felt a little twinge… and then it hurt… and then it felt really warm in my mouth. I think I pulled one of my stitches out.  But that whole area is covered with a wax-like substance (called “the dressing”), so I can’t be sure of what’s happening. NF was leaving anyway so I walked him out and then stuffed a pile of gauze in my mouth and went to sleep like that. Thankfully, the bleeding stopped (mostly) by the next morning. But I felt like someone beat my face in and left me for dead. I somehow dragged myself downstairs and made some soft and warm french toast followed by 800 mg of Motrin. I was still wiped out and in some pain for work, but I could still function okay.

7) Next up will be stitches removal on October 1st. They told me it’s pretty quick.

8) 6-8 weeks after stitches removal, I will get my brand spanking new crown, that hopefully is not too big for my mouth.

9) I don’t know the specifics of my new dental insurance, but I had to pay $550 this week and I have another $550 on my account that I’ll pay later. And I’m sure there’s more to come. Better to get this over with while I’m living at home, I guess.

10) Enjoy a healthy mouth that will include one perfect crown on top of the cleanest gum line in the south shore!

The good news is… NF and I are official.  Official, in that, we are officially bf and gf. The bad news is… you bloggos will no longer get to enjoy my ‘adventures in online dating’ posts that were such a big hit on the last blog!

NF turns 30 this week and also is moving into his own 1 BR apt. this weekend. So this is a big week for him! I’m looking forward to his birthday celebration this weekend.

I’ve received many requests from my own friend group to meet NF.  Soon, my friends, soon. And for the love of God, be on your best behavior and be sure to talk me up real good.