smiling on foot

I’ve said it before, but I’ll try and mean it this time. I’m going to be better about posting blog entries. I don’t know what’s come over me with this blog. Back in the day, I would blog daily – sometimes multiple times in one day with images, video, funny jokes and above all: personal stories. Now, it’s like I’ve forgotten I even have one. In my defense, I have certainly been busy. And often too tired to sit here and type up li’l diddies for the bloggos. But I think a major part of the problem is that it’s public. I might think of something that would be funny to blog about, but realize that some people might find it inappropriate. I’m also hesitant to over-share my personal life in case someone I know but don’t really “know” finds it. For example, I’d maybe want to blog about my recent interviews and then realize I can’t in case a co-worker sees it. For a while now, this new job thing has dominated my thoughts and if I couldn’t blog about that, I couldn’t blog about anything. (Bratty, I know. Like I said, I will be better about making the effort.) But now the secret is out. I gave my notice at Double J last week and I will start working at P-Lite on July 12th as eComm Mktg Manager. I’m psyched! Not only am I psyched for my new opportunity, but I really feel like this is the beginning of a fantastic, new chapter for myself. The next step is to get my own place. I’m still planning on September 1st and am now considering moving a bit more south from city than I ever thought I’d live. But if that means being closer to work (and my sister as a bonus), I think I might be okay with that. For right now, I’m going to write out some blog entry ideas.

Better late than never. Here is a quick recap of how I did on my April initiatives:

1) I consider myself pretty damn successful in refraining from consuming diet mt. dew. In 30 days, I succumbed to the dew exactly 3 times. Once was before I was visiting my old co-worker and was tired so I needed the pick-me-up. Another similar time was before I was visiting my friends DS and LOS in “Rozzie Village” and was tired so I needed the pick-me-up. And the last time was on the last day of April. I had gone out with some co-workers the night before as part of a goodbye party and enjoyed in 3 beers with no dinner and felt a smidgen tired/hungover the next morning so I brought one to work. I was meeting HEKD, AMR, AD and a couple of other chicks at a MSPCA fundraiser that night and figured the Dew would be needed before the travel to Lawrence. So now I’m quite caffeine free. I don’t drink caffeine at all at work anymore, which is crazy since I was drinking 1 or 2 cans of dew a day for the past 10 years. However, I don’t see how I could overcome a “real” hangover without it. But I’ll deal with that later.

At first, I was replacing my Dew addiction with a jelly bean addiction, but that faded away. I have since been purchasing Clementines and anytime I’m craving something sweet, I eat a Clementine or chew some gum. Occasionally, I will go to the vending machine and buy some Starbursts for some sugar… but I’m really proud of myself for not needing the Dew every day now!

2) I arrived at work before or by 9 a.m. exactly twice in the month of April. I consider this immense failure. However, I almost always arrived before or by 9:15 a.m. so I’m taking this as progress.

3) In the 5 weeks I decided that I would go to the gym twice a week, I did it 3 of the weeks. The last 2 weeks, I was only able to go once. But it was not out of laziness, I truly had a lot of things going on those weeks! Really, I did. With my late-night work hours, my weekly Lost party with the Z’s and my bad allergies, it was really, really hard to make it twice a week. I find Saturday morning is a good solid time to go, but the 2nd time is pretty unpredictable.

So… my hopes for April were not entirely successful. I wanted to have zero acid reflux as a result from refraining from my Dt. Mt. Dew – and that pretty much happened for me after about a week so 1 for LK. I wanted to get to work on time, and that just didn’t happen. I wanted to lose weight as a result of my more frequent gym visits and low quantities of soda, but I haven’t lost a pound. However, I know I’m more in shape because I have gradually worked my way back up to 30 minutes on the Precor AMT 100i. I’m also doing well on the arm weight machine I use, but still not a W on this mark. Attaining false hope that I’m important also didn’t happen, as well as my initiative to get a fake tan. I went tanning with AMR for a few weeks and it really wasn’t doing too much. I went to the beach last Saturday and felt I got some color with my SPF15 so I think I’m going to stick with the real sun.

May Initiatives:

1) Continue with the little to no mt. dew initiative. Who knows, maybe I can rid myself of soda all together? (Um, yeah)

2) Continue achieving twice a week gym visits and perhaps lose some of this extra weight.

3) A new one: showering at night. I’m hoping that by showering at night vs. the morning, I will arrive to work on time and thus possessing the false sense of importance discussed in the Happy April post. This starts as of tonight, May 5th.  It has also come to my attention that I’ve never developed a skin care plan. Many girls have told me that going to bed with the day’s makeup on is bad. Not just bad, but BAD. I’ve probably washed my face before bed a total of 4 times since Jr. High (when I started wearing makeup) and never had a thought about it. Apparently, this is not the commonplace and no one shared the face cleaning memo with me.  By showering at night, I will have a clean face and oodles of time in the morning to get to work on time. Woop Woop!

First, I went to the dentist last month. And if you recall from last September’s horrifying Gum Repair post, I’ve had a fair amount of dental work done. Power cleaning, gum surgery and crown replacement rounded out 2009 for ol’ LK. And every 3 months since, I have to go back for cleanings. I went to my recent appt. and low and behold, I have a cavity! Not only this, but my dentist says that my “pockets” along my gums in the top left quadrant are still at #4/#5 and if they get to #6 they will be beyond help and guess who’ll have to endure gum surgery in their top left quadrant? Ugh. He asked me how my crown was doing and I told him that I think it’s shape might be wrong because tons of food gets caught in front and back of it. He took a look and says, “We’ll have to replace that.” Oh good, because I was hoping I could get 3 crowns for the same spot. Fast forward to my follow-up appointment, which was a new-crown-and-cavity-filling combo visit, and he says I don’t need a new crown after all. The food catching issue is due to how low my gums are in that quadrant after last fall’s gum surgery. The gums should build back up in the next 6 months and he totally forgot that this would be the reason the last time we met. Then he goes to shake my hand goodbye and I ask, “What about my cavity?” He said he almost forgot about that too and sat down to whip up a honkin’ novocain needle to stab the back of my mouth with. The novocain didn’t work so good, but I have a high threshold for pain and really a cavity is child’s play next to what I put up with last fall… so there’s that.

Second, there’s my uterus. Probably about three years ago, I had an appt. with my Waltham gyno to investigate a weird pressure that I have on my right side around where the ovaries are. Some doctors say it might be a digestive issue, other say a female organ issue so I started an investigation. The ultrasound my Waltham gyno performed showed a weird dual uterus. But you can’t really see in ultrasounds so I was going to schedule an MRI, but then she moved to Texas and I never did it. Fast forward 2 years later and I tell my Quincy gyno the story and she is enthralled with the possibility that I might have a bicornuate uterus. She wants me to contact an IVF place for further investigation. I never did it. Fast forward to last January. She insists that I call the same IVF place and get to the bottom of this anomaly. So I did call the IVF place and had a consultation with a man physician to talk at length about my uterus. He signed me up for a pelvic MRI at an MRI location of my choice. I think the receptionist was a little surprised that I actually do have a favorite MRI place in Weytown. I’ve been to this place for both digestive issues and migraine issues so lucky me. Since I am a pro at MRIs, I enjoyed the rest in the body tube and grooved to the classic rock satellite tunes the ladies turned on for me. I asked to see my pictures and they burned me a CD to take home with me. Of course, I can barely make heads or tails of what is going on in these x-rays, but it’s still pretty cool to look at. I’ve offered my co-workers, friends and family to see my uterus and no one seems to be overly excited about this opportunity. Does no one find biology interesting anymore?

So I had my follow-up today. The good news is, I don’t have a bicornuate uterus. Bicornuate is not really fixable. The bad news is, I have a septate and need to have surgery to fix it. I studied and studied the CD that the MRI people gave me and searched through all shots at all angles and I think I found it. What do you think?

But back to my follow-up appointment today. I found the exact image online that the IVF physician has shown me during both visits to illustrate, as seen on the right above. Click to see larger. Pay no attention to that middle uterus in the diagram as it was never discussed. The Bicornuate on the right is what my Waltham gyno originally thought I possessed. The whole uterus is shaped nearly in two, which would be impossible to unite. The Septate on the left shows a septum that has formed down the center of a properly shaped uterus. What makes my septate anomaly especially odd is that my septum goes all the way down to the cervix, creating almost 2 uteri. Fortunately, the septum is just extra tissue, like scar tissue, and can be cut away. Because there’s no life force (i.e. blood) within this septum, if I were to get pregnant, the egg wouldn’t find any “nutrients” to draw from as there is in the actual lining of the uterus and the pregnancy would terminate itself. Hopefully, I haven’t grossed you out too much but I find this stuff very interesting! My IVF doctor also finds my situation a little odd that I have no plans to get pregnant yet here I am at an IVF clinic having pelvic MRIs and blood tests to check my ovaries. (My ovarian scores were stellar, btw.) I told him that I happen to stumble on this one and if there’s something broke, I feel compelled to fix it. Who knows, perhaps it will fix that pressure I have on my right side that started this whole thing?

The IVF doc also spoke more today about how I was born with a defective kidney and the kidney and uterus are created in the same phase of development when I was in the womb. I asked if gall bladder was included in this phase and he said no. The fact that I had this organ removed was a separate medical marvel I can add to my list. I asked if this was a birth defect caused by… say… I don’t know… a couple of boozehound parents in the 70s? A 41-year old sperm? Genetics in general? He said there’s no telling, but he’s pretty sure that if my mother drank and smoke during pregnancy that would not have created this abnormality. He went on to explain the extremely scientific-and-way-over-my-head goings on with cells that create the uterus. Then he asked if I had any back problems. Why, yes, I actually have mild scoliosis. He said he wasn’t surprised as that is also related to this phase and I’m lucky that it’s only mild. Then we had a big discussion about our back problems and whether or not he should see a chiropractor.

So surgery it is… sometime in June. Ironically, the IVF doctor does his surgeries in Waltham of all places.

We ended March with another (smaller) dose of water in the basement, but April is here and the sun is shining and I am really, really hoping that this is the end of the crazy rains. With the start of the new month, I’ve made some resolutions for myself. I used to have a roommate who used to perform various “experiments” to spice up her life. Some were more life-changing than others. I would say most were actual acts of self-improvement. One of my favorites was when she decided to french braid her hair everyday for a month. When I asked why she just coyly smiled and said, “It’s an experiment.” I’m not sure what sort of self-improvement this promoted… maybe it was just to commit to something as a form of discipline. To commit to something for an entire month is definitely HARD, but I’m going to try a couple of things for April:

1) No Diet Mountain Dew. It has been well-documented for some time how severely addicted I am to the dew. I don’t drink coffee so I start every morning with a dt. mt. dew to perk up my senses and keep me from getting a headache. To switch from regular to diet 5 years ago was a large undertaking, but now it needs to be taken to the next level. I have been drinking the dew everyday for years. I often joke that it’s like what Windex is to the Greeks and can cure all my ailments. However, I’ve recently been experiencing a burning in my stomach and acid in my throat. I don’t want to see a doctor about this, but I’m theorizing that the dew (along with boatloads of stress) is deteriorating my stomach lining. I resolved to stop drinking the dew on March 23rd, but caved on March 27th for just one can. I then bought a large package of lemon-lime gatorade and have been drinking those in place of the dew ever since. My head hurt for many of these last days in March, but I forged through. I’m surprised that I’m actually not that tired without it. Those electrolytes must really give you energy! So maybe I’m just replacing one addition with another and this can’t be seen as true improvement, but at least I don’t have that much acid reflux anymore. Bonus for me!

2) Get to work at 9:00 a.m. I’ve gradually been getting more and more riduculous with my arrival times at work. It’s been getting to the point that I’m sitting at home happily watching Ellen and eating my cereal at 9:05 and not getting to work until about 9:30. No one at work seems to care, but this is an act of a lazy girl. Even if no one at work finds it important for me to be at my desk in the morning, I have to pretend that it is just to make myself a more effective worker. And if I can truly make myself believe that I am important, then gosh golly won’t I be the happiest tiger in the jungle.

3) Twice a week gym visits. I went to the gym this past Tuesday, March 30th. This is the first time I’ve walked into the gym since the morning of March 1st when the hot water heater broke at home so I grumpily arrived at the BSC to just shower and leave. Actual exercise? Ummm… I think I might’ve gone once in February and maybe once in January. But those are mighty big “might haves” because I make it a practice to block out unpleasurable experiences so my recollection is foggy. But bathing suit season is right around the corner and I know that if I go twice a week, cut down on the soda and desk drawer of sweets (currently home to a full bag of yummy jelly beans)… I can lose maybe 6-8 lbs. Some may not feel this is a lot, but this 6-8 lbs is the difference of pants digging into my belly to pants fitting “okay” and right now we are in the digging into my belly stage.

(Which now that I’ve written this out makes me wonder if that physical stabbing of the waist of my pants might also contribute to my acid reflux? Hmm.)

So wish me luck as I embark on these very important initiatives for self-improvement in the month of April. Today is a sad day as my boss and mentor is leaving the company never to return. I will miss her so and may find myself drowning my sorrows in jelly beans this afternoon. But I’ll try and stay away from the dew… I just need to keep reminding myself that the dew won’t bring her back… *sad sigh*

Another addiction of mine from last year has resurfaced. AMR emailed me last week asking if I wanted to go tanning with her. I have minutes leftover (35) from last year’s tanning shenanigans at our local tanning salon so I said yes! We went last night and ohhhhh, does it feel goooood. My tan lines from last year never really went away completely so they have been given a little boost. I guess if the tan is artificial, it stays with you longer than a real one? We are going to go twice a week for a little while… just a little while. Did you hear tanning is going to be put on a list of carcenagins along with cigarettes? Like so many, many things… it’s so bad, but feels so good. And you wouldn’t think artificial heat lamps would be so enjoyable, but it really is addicting.

So at the end of April, I hope to 1) have zero acid reflux, 2) be on an earlier schedule that allows me to get to work on time, 3) lose a couple of pounds, 4) attain false hope that I’m important and 5) create a fake tan. I’ll check in with you in May and let you know my progress.

March is turning out to be quite the month for milestones for ol’ LK. This weekend marks the 2-year anniversary of breaking up with G and moving back to my parents house (yippee). Last week was the 1-year anniversary of purchasing my fabulous Mercury Mariner with 4×4, heated black leather seats, sunroof and many other fantastico attributes (still as in love as the first day we met). This year, I will pay off one of my three hefty college loans that I’ve been working so very hard on, before month’s end. This one was important for me to get paid off before the others as it’s in my dad’s name. So yay for March.

I’ve been laying pretty low these days and have been enjoying a calm lifestyle. Working is tough so the weekends need to counter with minimal outings and early curfews. And to further clarify, “laying low” also means not getting completely hammered or spending unnecessary dollars. In fact, I think I may actually be beyond these inclinations. For example, I went to Syracuse at the end of February for RB’s 34th “Jersey Shore” birthday party weekend. It was awesome! Everyone dressed up to the theme, which I love (more people need to have theme parties). Much to my surprise, I did not get ridiculously hammered and did not get miserably hungover during this visit. You know you’re getting old when hangovers are viewed as no longer worth it. :) When the party was winding down, RB and 2 ladies were off to a bar at 1:05 a.m. to meet boys before 2:00 a.m. closing. I opted to put on my PJ’s and get ready for bed. I heard from a few people afterward that they were surprised that I didn’t get to the bar too… like really surprised. So allow me to announce this March of 2010 that ridiculously hammered, party time LK has transitioned to a calmer, less alcoholic, yet still super fun with a little buzz LK. Let’s hope that she sticks around until next March (with a few exceptions, of course).  :)

3/23/10: This just in… Mum just informed me that today is the 32nd anniversary of my left kidney being removed!  Is March the best or what!?

My streak of failed relationships is successfully intact. And it’s okay. As a professional girlfriend, I rarely have a relationship that lasts less than a year, but the latest lasted just under 6 months. I don’t know if it’s the short duration of the relationship or the fact that it’s my umteenth boyfriend I’ve had to say Sayonara to (perhaps a bit of both), but I am surprisingly okay with everything. I cried for a week after we broke up and was generally sad for a week after that. I talked things out with a few close friends and then thoughts of him just fizzled away… just like magic. Now that I think of it, a substantial portion of what makes things okay probably has something to do with the low caliber of manhood this particular ex-boyfriend displayed. Breaking up was a no-brainer. But I won’t go into name-calling on this one. We’ll just say he wasn’t for me and I wish him well. I think 6 months is about the time when you get to know someone for who they really are and there’s no more of that “best foot forward” nonsense or even that “rose-colored glasses” nonsense from the beginning months. So you date and get to know each other and sometimes it’s not a fit and you break up before “real” feelings are invested. Not a terribly uncommon story. I think of him fondly as someone who sort of brought me back to life in the romance realm and I’m glad to have known him at this time in my life. And all this being okay is really a shocker for me (and I’m not talking about the hand gesture). I’m usually a lot more emotionally effected by these types of things. Perhaps we should throw in a little “growing up” in the mix too. Whatever the reason may be, it’s obvious that the way my head works has changed significantly over the past couple of years. And for right now, I think I’ve come to terms with not having a boyfriend for a while – there are other things in life I can focus on… and other things I absolutely NEED to focus on to make me happier in this life – that does not involve dudes. So stay tuned for more major personal growth in 2010. Maybe I’ll fall in love in 2011. It would be nice to do that one more time before the end of the world the following year.

I’ve been telling my co-workers how “done” I am with this tag line. It’s on everything! Even this blog! Well, it was more towards the beginning of the year, but I’m a little late with this post. I only notice it because the emails I worked on in January of last year included this slogan so I’m more sensitive to it appearing in ads all around me. I even received a religious calendar in the mail with “New Year. New You.” on the cover. Can we think of something else, people? Or are the marketing geniuses of the world too busy making their co-workers crazy to come up with something new? In my experience, it’s the latter. Speaking of which… I won’t go into details… but just want to say it’s been an interesting 2010 thus far and I’m seriously considering changing my career. What could I do with myself that would not require me to stay at work until 7 p.m. three nights a week? Something that would allow me to have a life? I don’t know where these 5:00-release jobs are, but I can’t seem to find them in my current career. I guess I’ll just keep plugging along and hope that things get better… either with a change in career or without.

I do have a new assistant, however, and she just started this past Tuesday. Training is HARD. I have to use my brain so much more and I barely have time for these hours of training. The hardest part seems to be explaining how the different parts of an email swap out based on what type of customer you are… how to recognize and think about the changing pieces, how to code it, how to set it up in the online tool we use and how to know if you did it right. If you’ve never worked with this sort of technology, it’s tough to wrap your head around. And if you’ve been swimming in it for 5 years, it’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t have much experience in this sort of thing how to figure it out. But it’s her first week and she did pretty well. I’m going to have to think this weekend on a better way to explain dynamic content for her for next week… a “lesson plan” if you will (for all my teacher friends).

Speaking of technology:
My American Express online account just sent me a 2009 summary of expenses. It’s pretty cool how they’ve categorized my spending in 9 different categories: Business Services, Communications, Entertainment, Fees & Adjustments, Merchandise & Supplies, Other, Restaurant, Transportation and Travel. These categories are listed down along the left of the chart and along the top are the 4 quarters of the year of which the spending happened. I’m proud to say I did not use this card TOO much in 2009, but I did falter a couple of times… especially at Christmastime. About $1,000 falls into Merchandise & Supplies and you can expand this category for a more detailed breakdown… where you see this spending was exclusively on clothing. Shocking. Bad, bad LK. The other $700 falls into Business Services but when you break it down the spending is exclusively on Health Care Services. This was all my dental work I had done last fall. How cool that American Express can automatically create this chart? And it’s completely accurate. I love technology. Now I just need to put this S back to zero balance for 2010.

A couple of weeks ago, I used kodakgallery.com’s cool little sidebar app to drag and drop my favorite photos from all my 2009 online photo albums and created a “year in review” of photos. This is always an excellent project. It’s time consuming for sure and I remember last year feeling like I’m never doing this again because it’s so tedious to choose the photos, order the photos to my liking and put little captions on each. But I think the sidebar app made it a little quicker for this year. Of course, the captioning is what takes most of the time, but it’s mandatory in order to tell the story of the year. It took me about 2 hours to put this together and the final product always makes me feel great. No matter how depressed I will be about the cold, snow, work, living with my parents, etc… the Year in Photos is a powerful reminder that my life is pretty damn good.

Click here to see my 2009 year in photos! (Apparently, I attended about a million birthdays in ‘09 – apologies for the lack of variety.)

Now as for 2010:
I’m not going to make any “resolutions” this year, but I do have some general plans. #1 is I’d like to move out of my parents house and support myself like a normal 32-year old (33 in 2 weeks!). I’m afraid to live by myself, but it’s something I’m going to psyche myself up for and force myself to do. Sort of like a “personal challenge” instead of a lame “resolution.” I’m close to paying off one of three college loans and then I’ll start saving for the move. I’m still undecided on the condo vs. apt. decision.  However, I’m leaning towards the apartment after hearing about Xtina’s $3,000 termite damage in her condo and year 2 of water ruining the carpet/wall of KDM’s condo. It’s all their issue that they need to deal with and I think owning has just so much monetary risk that’s scary to take on by myself. (Especially if I’m looking to change my career, right!?) #2 for the new year is just to keep up with my health and try like Hell to get to the gym at least twice a week and continue to eat right. I know that everyone else on the planet has this new year’s goal too, but that doesn’t mean it’s less important. I did really well with it in 2009 for the first time in my life and hope I am able to continue with 2010. #3 is just to continue to enjoy time spent with my friends and my boyfriend. I had been so lonely before I met NF and have had some really good laughs and conversation with him in 2009. I really hope this works out and we have a fun 2010 together too. But, of course, the friends play a big part in my happiness too and will continue to make time to see those smiling faces as well.  Hopefully, with the new assistant, I can do more weeknight outings and have that much more of a more fulfilling life.

We’ll see if the new year brings a new me, I guess!  Happy New Year, Bloggos. :)

Now that Halloween is over… it’s pretty much all downhill from here. I don’t mean to be a negative Nancy, but I just love, love LOVE Halloween and then I hate, hate HATE cold weather and snow. I can’t help but feel a little down trodden once Halloween is over. The cold is creeping in and I’ve already started using my electric blanket. Cold weather tends to make me quite inactive and I’m really wanting to maintain my 25 lb. weight loss from earlier this year. But it’s actually proving quite difficult already.

First of all, I’m dating someone and that comes with nights out to eat and drinking during a new relationship. Secondly, Halloween candy and treats are EVERYWHERE at work. So I’ve gained back about 8 lbs. during September and October. But on the relationship front, I think we’ve now moved into another phase where we can spend a Saturday night cooking and watching a movie “on demand” instead of drinking beers and eating chicken fingers at the Ming. He’s a FANTASTIC cook and is not the mac & cheese kind of guy at all. We eat steak and veggies or stir fry or homemade pizza… mostly healthy stuff. So that should help. However, I find myself trading in my gym-nights to spend time watching TV and drinking wine with him. I need to get better with my 3 x’s a week gym schedule. I’m seriously losing my stamina to stay on that machine for any good length of time. I went on Monday after not going for 2 weeks and it was a poor, poor showing. I’m going back tonight and showing that Precor AMT 100i what I’m made of.

The winter also brings about a lot of family parties and that brings us back to eating. Mum, my two brothers, my sister and myself all have post-Halloween birthdays. My brother, CS, and his wife, LS, have birthdays around Veteran’s Day. There is usually a dinner and birthday cake made by Mum. I haven’t heard if it’s happening this year, but it probably will. And I will undoubtedly pig out on Mum’s cake and eat at least 3 tablespoons of frosting before she even gets a chance to use it. Side note: I’m disgusting when it comes to sugar… and it’s getting worse with age. The candy corn consumption this year was shocking even to myself. I could eat a whole bowl of Mum’s frosting, no problem… especially if it was lemon… mmm lemon frosting…
Estimated weight gain after CS and LS’s birthday: 4 lbs.

Then there is Thanksgiving which is a good excuse for Americans everywhere to partake in some good ol’ fashioned gluttony. Mum makes everything so, so, so good for Thanksgiving. Her apple pie is almost an art form that shouldn’t be eaten… almost…mmmm apple pie… Then there is her famous cheesecake. And the stuffing and the mashed potatoes… and did I mention the apple pie? Then I’m taking some time off work to perhaps go on a road trip with NF and friends. Road trip = fast food and many, many swedish fish for the drive.
Estimated weight gain after Thanksgiving Weekend: 6 lbs.

December brings forth many holiday parties, Mum’s birthday party, Christmas and then New Year’s. Mum makes the most delicious oriental meatballs that are best to consume immediately before cheesecake. I know it sounds strange, but I’ve been eating this combo for so long that I’m conditioned to want cheesecake (but only HER cheesecake) after eating those meatballs. I should mention that she puts delicious, syrupy, canned cherries on top of the cheesecake… mmm cheesecake… I can see my gym visits fading away by mid-December. My sister-in-law, LS, makes a great spread for Christmas Day and usually has these scrumptious little pastries from a friend’s bakery. I so look forward to those pastries. She also has many dishes of Italian food of which I make sure to eat one of each kind: manicotti, lasagna, meatballs, etc. Then on New Year’s, the friends will all gather at HEKD’s and order massive amounts of Chinese Food. Yup, I should be one, blubbery, fat, piece of S by then.
Estimated weight gain in December: 8 lbs.

Then in January, I will celebrate my birthday and my brother, AS’s, birthday. When I celebrate my birthday, I usually do so for at least a week beforehand and indulge in multiple celebrations with family and then friends. I’ll also convince myself that whatever Superbowl party I attend is actually a birthday celebration for me too. And I will go after a plate of nachos like they were made for only me and absolutely necessary to my existence on this planet. After my birthday, the cold weather really starts to affect my mood and ‘eating my feelings’ doesn’t make ‘the cranky’ go away anymore. So I drink heavily instead. Not only does the drinking cheer me up, but also provides my body extra warmth in addition to my new layer of fat. (Smart thinkin’, right?) This phase comes right in time for RB’s birthday weekend in February where I will get stinkin’ drunk in her basement, do karaoke, argue about friends of hers I don’t like, do more karaoke and then end up collapsed on the floor in laughter. It’s also my sister’s birthday, as well as her last born’s birthday. The family will get together for dinner and birthday cake and it’s amazing that we’re all not sick of each other. I think if mum had one more child in the winter, that child wouldn’t get a party… just too much getting together. Good thing my brother and I usually celebrate ours in one combo party. February, I’ll start to try and exercise again, but it will be futile for I will be that aforementioned blubbery, fat piece of S. By March, my spirits improve, I usually start eating better (since there are no family parties) and I’ll probably be better at going to the gym.
Estimated weight gain in January and February: 12 lbs.

If you are keeping track, I’m estimating a 30 lb. weight gain this winter on top of the 8 lbs. I’ve already accumulated. This is not good. After re-reading this post, I think I may have to sit down with Mum and have her plan in advance her menus for all family events. Is this unreasonable? Then I can form an eating strategy for the winter where I’ll indulge once or twice, but other times eat salad, one meatball and maybe one bite of cheesecake. And I canNOT give up on my gym visits… no matter how badly I want to sit on NF’s couch instead, no matter how sniffly I get, no matter how dark and cold it is when I leave work… I must keep up with my good health and not become the Jabba the Hutt of Weytown! There’s just no excuse for me if I don’t. I implore all to send helpful tips on how to get through this winter without gaining back the weight I worked hard to lose!

But when the weather outside is frightful and Mum’s food is so delightful… *sigh*

Ten years from now, we’re all going to look at each other and say, “Remember when we used to put ‘LOL’ on everything?” And then we’ll all laugh and say, “Yeah, HEKD would start and end every email, facebook comment and blog comment with ‘LOL’ back then.” Then I will recall the time when AMR, Bykfam and myself were returning from our MD vacation and Ozzy’s “Iron Man” was on the radio and Bykfam sang “L-O-LOL-LOLOLOLO-L-O-L” to the tune of the popular guitar riff. That story will get a big response for sure.

Then someone will say, “And remember how we used to ‘put on our lollerskates‘ all the time?!” Oh, the roars of laughter will be immense in the future. The conversation will inevitably start turning down the road of other “text speak” like OMG, FML, IMHO and whatever else we can remember. And then we’ll all sit back and reflect at how silly we were with dreamy smiles on our faces.

I’ve been living with my parents for a few reasons. 1) To get ahead in my finances. 2) I’m done living with roommates but can’t afford to live in a 1BR in this area until #1 happens. 3) I’ve never lived alone and would like some transition time to think about it. 4) I’d kind of like to be able to save a little dough towards a condo. As far as #4 is concerned, I’m so wishy washy about the whole idea. At my old age of 32, I should really be looking to invest in some property but the responsibility that comes along with owning something freaks me out a little bit. Just enough to make me rent instead of own? Maybe… I’m just not sure if I want to handle something like that by myself. I’m also hesitant to commit to a particular city or town. I don’t think I’ll be moving across the country or anything, but my recent history shows vast instability in sticking with the same job, apt. or boyfriend for any extended period of time. What if I hate where I live after 3 years and I want to move? Do I really want to risk losing money in my investment or should I keep it to my free and easy apt. living? Most advise me to stick to my parents’ house until I can afford a mortgage on a halfway decent condo. Although I’m up in the air on all this, I’ve been really trying to stick with the condo plan – until this past Monday.

For the past year and four months, I’ve been consistently checking apartments and condos in the south shore area to just increase awareness. I am essentially broke, so we’re talking purely educational purposes. An apartment caught my eye this week on craigslist for a 1BR on Wollaston Hill in Quincy. It’s the top floor of a beautiful old Victorian and only $900/month. Something told me that I had to see it in person. However, I wouldn’t have much to live on after the bills are paid. I figured that it’s a good thing I like grilled cheese sandwiches and called the realtor to make a Wednesday night appointment. I obsessed over whether or not I could afford to live in this apartment and whether or not I should even go see it from Monday to Wednesday. I’m sure I annoyed my co-workers with my apartment talk and even polled them on how much money they live on per month after bills are paid. If I’m unsure about something, it’s all I can think about… a severe disability.

I asked AMR to accompany me to see this place. I was so nervous because I knew if I fell in love with it, I’d have to move into it and then proceed to starve to death. I know this because 1) I’m stupid. 2) I’m sometimes that kind of passionate person who follows her heart no matter the consequences. (And I know 1 and 2 are sort of synonymous.) Thank goodness for level-headed AMR. The realtor took us through the bedroom first and it was a pretty good size, 2 closets and tall ceilings. The previous tenant left a note about a certain cord he had found to bring free cable into that room. Bonus. There was a cute “in between room” when walking from the bedroom to the living room. The living room had been advertised as narrow… but boy was it TINY (and narrow). It looked like a closed in porch with windows lining two of the walls. It also had a working fireplace. Although the house is old and beautiful, the windows are old and terrible. I’m sure all those windows are too old to keep out the winter – and I hate winter. With 3 of us standing in the living room with no furniture, I felt a little too closed in… I can only image putting my futon in there and never wanting to invite people over for fear of claustrophobia. On the other side of the living room was a little “dining room” that would hardly fit any sort of a dining set… even a cafe style would be too much in the way. And then the grand finale was the kitchen/bathroom area. I don’t even think “tiny” could cover it. If I was any bigger than I am, I would not be able to fit into the shower area or be able to take something out of the oven. It also smelled like gas in that kitchen (the scary blow up kind, not the stinky bum kind). I took some photos seen below, but I honestly think they make the place look better than what it was.

AMR and I had a little heart-to-heart in the street afterward. She reminded me how rewarding it would be to own my own place rather than living in some Quincy dump. I’ve since regarded this 3-day apartment obsession as a mere moment of weakness and am back on track for my ultimate goal of world domination, er, buying a condo. I still think it’s a scary endeavor to do on my own, but who knows where my mind will be at in a year. So I’m sitting tight in Weytown and avoiding the craigslist listings to protect myself from anymore moments of weakness!