smiling on foot

Since I started with such a negative title, let me begin by writing out some good things. But I have to note that when I listen to Oldies 103 and they have that little radio station in-between jingle “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.” I feel like yelling, “It SO ISN’T the most wonderful time! I’m freezing to death! I have too much to do! I’m spending too much money!” But I suppose there are some good things happening to… let me try and think…

I interviewed a nice candidate to be my assistant at work this week. She is SMART. Her resume is slightly intimidating and I think she’s probably going to be gunning for my job in a year, but that’s okay. At least I’ll get some intelligent assistance for that 1 year anyway. We’re extending an offer this week (or maybe we already have? Who knows.) and I hope she can start the day I return from my vacation. Which brings me to ‘good thing #2′ which is that I have all of next week off! Yippee skippee! I am in desperate need for that one week off as I still don’t have any presents purchased for my brother Chuck’s family and only a couple of things each for my parents. I also need to buckle down and do some gift wrapping… and maybe bake some Christmas cookies. So much to do…. which brings me to why this time of year is so f%$#ing far from “the most wonderful”…

1) Working in retail during the holidays sucks. It sucks for many reasons, but of course the main one is just that I work a lot harder this time of year. But admittedly, November was worse than December, so I guess that’s a bonus.

2) Since my job requires me to be email-subscribed to many different types of retailers, I get LOTS of email to read through this time of year. The advertisements entice me to spend money and I stress over whether I should do it or not. Oh, would my niece like that? Maybe I should go into the store and see it in person? Will a better idea come around? Do I really need to spend this much money on her? Do I even have time this week to go to a store? Maybe I should just buy it now online. Will it arrive in time? Maybe I should wait until vacation so I can go to the store? It’s emotionally draining for me to ask myself these questions over almost every email and family member almost every day of the holiday season.

3) Since I am physically and emotionally drained, I will often get sick this time of year – which I did. Thankfully, it lasted only four days. Yesterday was my first day of being back to good health and it felt GOOD. Working hard and being so sick is not a good combo – fyi. I will also often perform immense amounts of “retail therapy” as a sort of “release” from my self-inflicted stress. As a result, 50% of boxes that have arrived at my home are for myself, while the other 50% will be distributed across my friends and family. I have also spent an obscene amount of money this year. I need to not be so willy nilly with my online shopping next year. This sh*t is ridiculous. I’M ridiculous. I bought self-tanner on ebay today that was recommended to me by a co-worker. Yah – crazy, right?

4) Christmas Cards. I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas Cards. Every year I tell myself that it’s a big waste of time and money and to only do it if I have many nights free and/or start them early. But when I begin to receive them, I can’t wait to get mine together to send back in return. I love this “best wishes” correspondence from your household to mine and vice versa. But then there’s always the question of whether I should photoshop something personalized or just buy a box of cards like most people. Since I know I have the skills to be slightly creative and make them personalized, I feel like if I’m going to do it, I should do it to the best of my ability. Mum says this makes me like my dad: do it super great or not at all. I do not have many nights free this year due to late nights at the office and boyfriend visits in Marshfield. But last Sunday, Mum insisted that I create a Christmas card on the ol’ computer that would feature our multi-species family. We brainstormed and I came up with an idea that took two photoshop-heavy nights of a very sick LK to execute. The card is super cute, LARGE and a little sloppy… but it’s done. I printed out a shortened xmas card list and wrote out envelopes last night. Phew. Done. I don’t know how many years longer I can spend this kind of time on Christmas cards. What if I have my own home and family someday? There will be no homemade cards if that day comes. Mum will need to hire a new designer. I hope the “I do everything else in this house” speech works on the new designer. :)

Okay, now I’ll end with some good thoughts. I have noticed how my attitude about the holidays is notably cheerier than last year. I know, I know – you are skeptical because you just got through reading the above 4 points on why I find the holidays the most terrible time of year… but until the Holidays aren’t so much work, you’re never going to get a 100% “It’s a Wonderful Life” reaction out of me. What you will get is an LK who is actually turning on Oldies 103 to listen to holiday music in the morning. An LK that willingly decorated the xmas tree and even put on the holiday music while doing so. And an LK who bought a festive tablecloth last weekend in excitement for having everyone over on Christmas day. I even wore little ornament earrings to my work’s holiday luncheon last Friday. Last year, I wanted nothing to do with holiday merriment and Mum had to force me to help her with that tree and attend family gatherings. I’m glad and relieved that my reactions have improved. You never know what can happen in a year.