smiling on foot

If your bar has a regular person who comes in every weekend (or every day), acts a little weird, but also exists as a sort of mascot for your bar… would it be considered bad or good for business?  I, personally, enjoy the regular. And I’m not talking about old, weathered men who are lonely and belly up to the local pub and look depressed. I’m also not talking about the chatty, overweight fellas like Norm and Cliff who enjoy a pint at their regular spot after a long day of work. I’m talking about the regular who is highly entertaining, who everyone ADORES and who absolutely marches to the beat of his own drum. If your bar has a regular such as this… does it mean your place is kind of seedy? Probably. Does it mean your place is fun? Absolutely! A reputable establishment is totally overrated – bring on the regulars!

Gorton’s Gone Bad
Where do you find a regular such as what I’ve described? I’ve encountered a few so far in my 11 years of legal drinking. The first that I can recall is when Weytown had their own Indian-themed (full-out Aladdin couches and such) night club located in an old mall up the street from my house. This mall was not like the huge malls we have today and not quite a strip mall… more like funky little mall made of cement that had a sweet fountain in the center of all its discount stores. The “night club” was creepy as Hell and I only went a few times. Each time, there was this old timer that would shuffle his way onto the dark, dismal dance floor and try and make it with the ladies. He looked like the Gorton’s Fisherman gone bad… definitely on drugs… and really, really f-ing old. But, hey, the ladies seemed to like him and must have found his sad, staggering dance endearing.

Maurice!
The second I can recall is by far my favorite. Just thinking about him makes me want to visit the ‘Ville and give my man, Maurice, a big hug (and surely get his sweat all over me). Maurice frequents the bars near where I used to live with RB back in the ‘Ville. We first met him on trivia nights at Magoon’s where he would watch sports and cheer (loudly) for the opposing team. I don’t know why he didn’t like to cheer for Boston teams, but we thought that THIS was his gimmick… we were wrong. We then spotted him at the Tavern down the road and that’s really where the magic happened. He goes there every weekend and is almost always wearing a sports jersey. Maurice is a gifted dancer. Now that I think of it, I bet he was severely devastated at the death of Michael Jackson. The DJs would put on Billie Jean just for Maurice and he did a sort of choreographed number while the crowd circled around and cheered. This had to be good for business, don’t you think? JBP and I danced with him a couple of times and he gave us some quick lessons on how to move like Michael Jackson. And who could forget the DANCE OFF between Blair and Maurice?! Blair was no match for the stylings of this famous regular. I would say that some of my best memories of that year took place at the Tavern… mainly due to Maurice’s presence, of course. :)

Yellow Fellow
The most recent regular that I’ve come to learn about is the one they call “The Yellow Man.” I’m guessing that he must have worn yellow a lot to get this name, but not sure. (He definitely doesn’t resemble Curious George’s “Man in the Yellow Hat” – so don’t get confused.) I first laid eyes on this man at the Blues Festival at the Marshfield Fair. He was just this small, elderly man with a long beard, loudly colored shirt, crazy hat and those “fun” over sized sunglasses. He was dancing like a loon between all the benches of seated people. Mum was dying to dance with him, but alas her bad knee would not allow. She urged me to dance with him, but I felt it was not the right time since I was sort of on a 2nd date at the Fair with NF. Plus, this dude looks batshit crazy and really no one else was dancing (unless you count children). Anyway… last Saturday, the family came together at the “night club” of Marshfield where people eat Chinese food in one room and then bust a move on the dance floor to a (terrible) cover band in another. It was my sister and brother-in-law’s 25th wedding anniversary. Upon arriving to the music room, my brother-in-law notified me that “The Yellow Man” was here and pointed at the elderly gentleman who I recognized from the Fair. He was dancing, of course, in his own weird, little way. The ladies immediately flocked around him like seagulls on an abandoned lunch at the beach. It was odd to watch. I mean, at least Maurice is young and relatively attractive. I meant to ask my brother-in-law why he has the name of The Yellow Man, but it’s probably better that I don’t know… gives him that element of *mystique.* I wonder if other establishments in the Marshfield area give The Man in Yellow a forum to showcase his dance moves and hit it with the ladies? Or would they think a man like this would be bad for business? I don’t think I’d want The Yellow Man at my bar… he has a weird vibe that’s not like the good natured Maurice. I wonder if he ever gets unruly and starts tipping over furniture and grabbing women inappropriately… I’ll keep you posted if I see him again. I seem to be hanging out in Marshfield a lot lately so the odds are in my favor.

Do you have a fun regular that frequents a bar or bars in your area? Does he creep you out or do you LOVE him? Is it a combination of both? Do you feel like he’s sort of a celebrity in your community? Have you ever encountered a regular that was FEMALE? Are YOU the regular in your community?  Inquiring minds want to know… feel free to use the comment link at the top of this post!

Long live the creepy, fun regulars in bars everywhere!